


Mother Nature

by Anonymous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Everything's Platonic, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Forced Pregnancy, Gen, Moderate gore and body horror, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Rape Recovery, Unplanned Pregnancy, all paladins are 18+, i am so sorry Pidge, there's a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-10-04 18:59:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10286651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: None of the other Paladins would admit it, but of the team, they worry most about Pidge ending up in Galra claws. It's not that she couldn't handle the pain, or stand up to torture and interrogation. She's just so small, and they can't help but feel overprotective. Fortunately, she's fast and tends to avoid capture. But capture is an inevitability for a Paladin of Voltron, and when it happens they are left to the mercy of the Galra. Many Galra have lines they will not cross, codes they will not break, honor they will not besmirch. Others have never been bothered by such scruples.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry Pidge. Sorry Pidge. Sorry Pidge.
> 
> Got this idea at work one day. It wouldn't leave me alone. Started typing it up to get it out of my head. It turned itself into a fully fledged story. I even came up with the title like on the first day and liked it. That never happens. So I figured I might as well post it.

**Mother Nature**

**  
**

**Chapter 1  
**

 

“Hello? Guys can you hear me?”

“Yeah, Pidge, we hear you. Where are you?” Shiro asked. The other paladins responded similarly. All were flooded with relief to hear Pidge’s voice. Whatever Zarkon’s forces had hit her lion with, it had been bad.

She had been forcibly ejected from her lion and launched into the side of the Galra ship. They all heard the impact, and would consider it nothing short of a miracle if she escaped without a broken bone. Her lion floated deactivated in space, the vine cannon still mounted on its back. Galran sentries had grabbed Pidge almost as soon as she hit. She was in Galra custody, without a weapon.

There was a pause after the paladin’s responses, everyone waited for her answer.

“Guys? Guys are you there? Can you hear me?” There was a scuffing noise; Pidge must have taken her helmet off. “Must have been damaged. Something knocked loose.” More scuffing noises accompanied her mutters.

“She can’t hear us,” Lance pointed out as he dodged around galran fire.

“But we can hear her,” Shiro affirmed. “That’s good; it means we can find her. Let’s regroup back at the castle. We’ll have her back in no time. It wouldn’t be our first prison break.”

“I’ll tow her lion back,” Hunk offered, piloting his own lion over to Green. The other paladins provided cover fire while Hunk pushed.

The Galra forces only retaliated halfheartedly. They had one Paladin captured; it would only be a matter of time before the others flew to the rescue.

The Paladins were tense and quiet as they retreated. Of anyone on the team who they would worry most about in Galra hands, it was Pidge. She wasn’t a fighter. She wasn’t built to withstand the pain of torture or hold up to questioning. She was a capable Paladin and strong … just in other ways. Pidge’s usual defensive strategy was to duck, dodge, and run, using her small size to get away and find something bigger to do the fighting for her. She didn’t even have her bayard to help defend herself. They needed to act quickly before she got hurt.

They didn’t hear anything but muttering and fidgeting from Pidge until they reached the bridge. Allura had already pulled up a rough blueprint of the ship – fortunately they had dealt with this class before, they were familiar with the layout.

“It looks like they’ve taken her to the brig. Central, lower decks of the ship.” The princess zoomed in on the hologram, a small green dot blinked at Pidge’s location.

“Near the cargo bays, easy insertion and extraction point.” Keith pointed out.

“Almost too easy,” Shiro muttered. “What’s the likelihood that they planted a false beacon?”

“It’s always a possibility. The Galra are familiar with our smash and grab method by this point. They may be setting up a trap.” Coran commented, tugging at his mustache thoughtfully.

“Trap or not, we can’t leave Pidge with them. We have to get her back!” Lance snapped.

“And fast, before Zarkon or reinforcements show up,” Hunk added.

“As soon as we have a plan, we’ll be back in our lions,” Shiro assured them. “It may be straight forward, but I think the cargo bay is our best bet. I’ll go in and find Pidge. I’m most familiar with these ships and my hand can activate locks. Keith and Hunk, you make a lot of noise and distract the Galra. Lance, I need you watching my back and…” he trailed off as the sound from Pidge’s comm changed.

“Hello, is it working? Can you hear me?” Pidge asked.

“Pidge, we hear you!” Allura was quick to respond, hope hiding in her voice.

There was another pause.

“Shit! I don’t know what’s wrong with this thing!”

A loud rush over the microphone and a following thunk indicated that Pidge had pulled off her helmet and thrown it down in frustration. A few seconds later she was back, muttering about breaking it more and wishing she had a screwdriver.

Two new voices entered, deep, masculine, Galran. They were too far away to be more than indistinct mumbling. Pidge’s voice rang out clearly though.

“What do you want?”

The Galra had moved closer now, close enough for their voices to carry through as a soft mutter. “We’re here to prepare you for Hagar’s ministrations,” one voice said smoothly.

“She was very interested in getting her hands on a Paladin of Voltron,” the second added, almost in a purr.

There was a scuffle and a sharp “Hey!” from Pidge. It only lasted a second, and suddenly the Galra voices were closer and Pidge was distant.

“Now, remove your armor and any weapons you might be hiding.” The first voice commanded.

“No.” Even distant and quiet, they all could hear the fury shaking in Pidge’s voice… or perhaps it was fear.

“Get to your lions, now!” Allura commanded. If they were processing Pidge already, making her trade her armor in for prisoner rags, then they had less time than they originally thought. Hagar was closer than expected; the witch might even be on the ship.

The paladins sprinted to their lions, ramming their helmets on to keep tabs on Pidge. As they ran, they heard the first voice speak again.

“Very well, then we shall do it for you.”

“Don’t you dare!” Pidge’s voice was pure venom.

Shiro took a quick look at his teammates before they hit the split point. Lance looked pale and sick, running with his eyes fixed on the floor. Keith looked furious, his mouth pressed into a tight, thin line. Hunk was determined, but silent tears spilled down his cheeks.

The sounds of a fight came over the comms – a solid smack of a fist on flesh, a short howl of pain. It sounded like Pidge had landed one good hit on her captors. It wouldn’t be enough though. Pidge would never last in a close quarters fight against two Galra. Most of them wouldn’t. There was a retaliating sound, a larger fist hitting flesh. Pidge cried out in pain. They didn’t hear anything else for several moments except Pidge’s furious protestations.

Shiro heard soft whimpering, but he couldn’t be sure if it was Pidge or Hunk.

The second voice returned. “Well, well, well … It looks like we’ve caught ourselves the female paladin.”

“So it seems. Looks like she’s young too… untouched.”

“What condition did Hagar say she needed the Paladin in?” the second voice asked.

“Alive.”

“Just alive?”

“Oh gods,” Allura whispered, horrified. “They wouldn’t.”

“They won’t get the chance,” Shiro growled, as he slid into the black lion’s cockpit. “Make noise and cause a distraction!” He rocketed out of the castle, the other three on his flank. Shiro silently cursed the fact that they had to keep the castle so far from the Galra ship.

There was another thunk as the helmet was dropped. Pidge’s voice was louder, closer. The Galra were closing in on her.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Oh, I love when they fight,” the first voice purred.

“I think I should have first go. She did hit me. Got my blood boiling.”

“Very well. But don’t be too long, we do have to bring her to Hagar.”

“Oh god, Pidge…” Lance moaned desperately.

The sound of struggling reached their ears. Pidge shouting “No!” over and over. The Galra asking for a hand from his companion. “Hold her down, she’s too squirmy.”

The struggling stopped. Pidge fell into desperate pleading, they could hear her sobbing.

“I can’t! I’m sorry, I can’t!” Lance’s voice was strained. He cut him comm.

Shiro pulled his lion to a stop, the others followed him. They were still too far from the Galra ship. Even Keith wouldn’t make it in time to stop them. “Don’t listen. You don’t have to listen,” he told the others, already having resolved himself to being there for Pidge. At least as best as he could.

Keith cut his comms without a word. Shiro heard Allura stifle a sob, but the castle commlink stayed open. As did Hunk’s, but the Paladin was dead silent. Shiro wasn’t sure if he had taken off his helmet.

Shiro screwed his eyes shut as Pidge’s begging turned into screams. He was assaulted with memories of his time in prison. He had heard those cries before as Galra attacked prisoners, as prisoners turned on each other, but they had always been distant, detached. This was… _oh god_ , Pidge!

Shiro patched the comm through the cockpit and ripped off his helmet. He pressed his face into his hands. Hot, furious, desperate tears fell, he stifled his sobs the best he could. He had failed her! His job was to keep his teammates safe. He was the team leader! If he had moved quicker, his lion would have taken that shot. He would have been the one captured by the Galra.

Eventually, the screaming stopped. Shiro only heard soft whimpers from Pidge, and the satisfied grunts of the Galra. They weren’t wasting their breath on words anymore.

Time passed excruciatingly slow, drawing out every tortured breath. The Galra finally finished. They departed with a snide “Clothe yourself, Hagar will send for you soon,” thrown at her on their way out the door. Pidge said nothing, and continued to weep.

Shiro took a shaking breath, and stemmed his tears. He slid his helmet back on. “Who’s still with me?” he asked.

“I am.” Hunk’s voice was cold and hollow.

“I am too,” Coran responded quietly.

“What about Allura?”

“No, she left.”

Shiro nodded, knowing nobody would see anyway. “Get her back Coran, we may need her to run the castle’s defenses. At the very least, we’ll need a way out of here.”

“I didn’t want to listen…” Hunk muttered. “But I-I couldn’t leave her alone either.”

“I know, Hunk. We need to signal Keith and Lance.”

“I think if we start moving, they’ll get the picture.”

“Right,” Shiro bean moving his lion forward again. It wasn’t long before Lance and Keith rejoined the comm.

“What’s the plan?” Lance’s voice was shaking with fury.

“Same as before. Smash and grab rescue.”

“But what about those bastards!?” Keith interjected.

“Pidge is our priority right now. Not the Galra. We get her and we get the hell away from here. The Galra will come later.” There were no further objections. “Hunk, Keith, cause a distraction. Lance, watch my back. I’ll break in and get her.”

“Her beacon hasn’t moved, Paladins,” Coran said. “She should be in that cell.”

“Let’s bring her home.”

**  
**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**  
**

If there had been a trap laid for the paladins, it had either been poorly executed, or they had taken the Galra by surprise. Shiro had broken into the cargo hold and found his way to Pidge’s cell in a matter of minutes. He slammed his Galra hand into the security pad, cursing how slow the scan was. When the door finally opened, he saw Pidge, back in her paladin armor sitting on the floor, letting the wall hold her up, playing listlessly with her helmet. A pile of prisoner rags lay on the floor beside her.

She jumped when the door opened, raising her hands in defense before she recognized Shiro.

“Shiro, thank god!” She tried to get to her feet, barely stifling a pained whine and not hiding her grimace as her legs failed to support her.

“It’s okay, Pidge. I’ve got you.” Shiro scooped Pidge up off the floor, holding her close and secure against his chest. “We’ll get you out of here. You’re safe now.”

God, she was so small.

Pidge let herself be carried, not bothering to hide the tears that streamed down her face. “I’m sorry, I-I think I hurt myself in the crash, a-and my helmet broke. I couldn’t call for help.”

“It’s alright, Pidge. It’s okay.” Shiro muttered to her, over and over again as he jogged back to the black lion.

They made it back to the lion without incident. Shiro tucked Pidge behind his seat and jumped into the controls. “We’re coming out.” He informed the others. “Let’s go.”

Lance had done his job superbly, and had cleared a wide area between the cargo bay and the Galra ships. He fell to Shiro’s right as they left the belly of the ship. Hunk and Keith joined them shortly after, providing cover fire.

“She thinks her helmet is broken. She doesn’t know we know?” Lance asked tersely, taking down a couple pursuing drones.

“Someone has to tell her.” Keith added. “It wouldn’t be right to keep that from her.”

A silence fell as the Paladins all imagined exactly how they could tell Pidge. Shiro knew as team leader, the responsibility should fall to him. The thought of hurting Pidge even more made him sick.

“I’ll tell her.” Allure volunteered, breaking her silence. “I’ll take care of her and tell her. I’ll meet you in the hangar, take her to the infirmary.”

“Get us out of here first,” Shiro reminded her. “We need to get away from the Galra.”

 

Shiro supported Pidge as she limped out of the lion. She avoided making eye contact with anyone, her helmet dangled loosely from her hand. The Paladins lined up awkwardly alongside, wishing desperately for the right words to say.

“Hunk?” Pidge asked quietly when she caught sight of the yellow paladin. She handed him her helmet. “The commlink is broken. Can you fix it?”

Hunk blinked rapidly to hold back his tears. “Yeah, sure thing,” he said weakly.

They reached the lift, the other three hung back.

“We’ll… check the green lion for any damage.” Lance offered as an excuse for not cramming into the lift.

Shiro nodded, Pidge said nothing. He pressed the button to take them to med bay. Allura met them at the lift.

“I’ll take her from here, Shiro.” She spoke softly, lifting Pidge’s free arm over her shoulders. “I’ll find you when we have an update.”

Shiro let them go; Allura and Pidge disappeared behind the medbay doors. He stood there, helpless, in the hall. He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to intrude. After a few minutes, the lift returned with the rest of the paladins. They stood there, staring at the closed doors, silent, waiting.

 

“Good news, nothing’s broken. Just bruised.” Allura tried to put on a cheery voice; she winced when it came out too forced.

If Pidge noticed, she didn’t say anything. She sat up slowly from the scanner, her mouth pressed into a tight thin line, looking like she was on the verge of tears, looking like she was about to collapse.

Allura bit her lip, trying to figure out what to say. Should she try and get Pidge to tell her what happened? Should she just come out and say it? Was there a way that would help? She doubted that. What Pidge had gone through… there was nothing that could fix it, nothing to make it go away. Just time and the support of friends and loved ones. Even that wouldn’t fix things; it would just make the pain easier to bear.

“I think a hot shower, or a bath would… help some.” Allura offered, unhelpfully. “And then some time in the pods to heal you up.”

“Mm-hmm,” Pidge offered as a reply, still staring off into space.

“Pidge… about your helmet,” Allura started, resolving it would be best to get this over with quickly.

“Yeah, it must have broken when I hit the ship. I couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t get a comm signal.” Pidge pulled her knees up to her chest.

“I know, Pidge.” Allura tried to keep her tears at bay. She sat next to Pidge and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “The thing is… your receiver was broken. The transmitter was working fine.”

Pidge stiffened under her hand, Allura was sure she stopped breathing. “You heard?” she whispered hoarsely.

“We heard. I’m so sorry Pidge.” She was freely crying now. Pidge’s shoulders shook as she cried. “If you ever want to talk about it – even if it’s not with any of us, please Pidge, tell me. We’ll find someone to help you.”

Allura rubbed small circles on Pidge’s back while the girl cried. They sat that way for a few minutes, not talking. There was nothing that could be said. Finally, with a sniff, Pidge lifted her head, wiping away her tears.

“I think I’ll go take that shower now,” she muttered thickly.

“Do you want my help? I can take your armor, get it cleaned.”

“Sure.” Allura slipped Pidge’s arm over her shoulder again and helped her to the door. Pidge limped along, eyes locked on the floor. Allura saw the hovering Paladins. She waver her free hand frantically to get them to clear away. They got the message.

It was a short walk from med bay to the lift and from the lift to the living quarters. Allura led Pidge into the bathroom and to the furthest shower. She set the paladin on the bench and started the water, making sure it wasn’t too hot, but still warm enough to feel properly cleansing. When it was ready, she turned back to Pidge. The girl was still sitting there in her armor.

“Pidge? Would you like me to help take your armor off?” she asked quietly.

Pidge nodded. Allura started slowly taking off the armored pieces until Pidge was left in her body glove.

“Can you get the zipper?” she asked, either unable, or unwilling to reach to the back of her neck.

Allura nodded, and pulled at the zipper. She slowly saw more and more of Pidge’s skin; what she saw was scratched up, bruised and bloody. Her sports bra was spotted red with blood. Allura helped Pidge shrug off the shoulders. She barely stopped herself from gasping. There were bite marks on her shoulders and neck, claw marks all along her back and down her arms, bruises on her shoulders from hands forcing her down.

Those monsters!

“Can you turn around?” Pidge asked, tearfully.

“Yes, let me know when it’s okay.” Allura dutifully turned her back, and tried to ignore the pained whimpers from Pidge as she finished shedding her clothes. She heard the shower door close and dared a look around.

Pidge’s clothes were in a pile on the floor. Her underclothes were torn and bloodied; her body glove was stained in some places. Allura held back her tears and picked them up, balling up the worst of the stains tightly.

“I’ll bring you clean clothes, okay?”

Pidge didn’t answer again.

“I’ll go put these in the wash.” Allura knew the only place these clothes were going was the incinerator. She walked out of the bathroom, leaving Pidge to the solitude she needed. She wasn’t surprised to see the rest of the Paladin’s waiting outside the bathroom door.

“How is she?” Shiro asked.

“I don’t know,” Allura answered truthfully, shaking her head. “She’s not talking much, but it was so recent… she hardly said anything when I told her.”

Everyone jumped when an anguished scream came from the bathroom. It was accompanied by the repetitive dull thud of what everyone hoped was Pidge’s fist pounding the shower wall.

Hunk started forward instinctively, only stopped by Shiro’s hand on his shoulder. “Let her get it out,” he said grimly. “We’ll give her space. Allura, will you keep an eye on her.”

The princess nodded. “Of course. I’m getting her some clean clothes. I’ll be back in just a tic.” She hurried away to Pidge’s room.

Pidge’s wailing followed her throughout the castle.

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**  
**

Pidge gritted her teeth as her lion careened off wildly. _Sloppy dodge!_ She scolded herself. She took a calming breath. That was close, too close.

“Pidge, you alright?” Shiro asked.

“I’m fine!” she called back. “It missed me.”

Nobody said anything else. Pidge was certain they had seen her awkward dodge. They were all watching her carefully. Her first fight back in her lion since… since the Galra. It had been a few weeks… twenty-three days. Pidge wasn’t sure if she was really ready for this, but she was a Paladin of Voltron. She needed to be out there with her team… finally.

The others had done a few minor missions without her. She hadn’t quite been ready to get back into her lion. The others had been understanding, but her team needed her today. Another one of Zarkon’s robeasts had found them. They would need Voltron.

She hadn’t thought that she would get this rusty after a few weeks out of her lion. She felt like Green wasn’t responding to her, not as well as they had been before. It was like their bond has been weakened. It almost felt like Green was resisting her.

Pidge stifled a shout as another shot flew right past her nose, missing by a hair again. The robeast had picked her out as the weak link. It was targeting her.

“Pidge, we need your vines to tie this guy up so we can form Voltron!” Shiro ordered, blasting at the robeast.

“I know, keep him off my back, I need to line up the shot.”

The other lions distracted the robeast. Pidge swung her lion around and jammed her bayard into the port. It slid easily into place; Pidge heard her lion power up. She pushed back memories of what had happened the last time she had tried to use her vine cannon. Suddenly her bayard was turned back and forced out of the port with a shock of energy. Pidge shouted in pain and surprise and drew her hand back. Her bayard fell to the floor and bounced out of her reach.

“Pidge, what happened?” Shiro asked.

“We need your vines!” Lance called.

“I-I don’t know. It just rejected me!” Pidge shouted back, her hands flew over the controls, eyes scanning for whatever might be wrong.

“Pidge, watch out!” Hunk called.

Too late, the blast hit Pidge full force. The lion slammed into the planet’s surface. Pidge hit her head on the back of her seat, hard. She heard her teammates calling her name, but she only had a second before she blacked out.

Pidge regained consciousness slowly. She didn’t hear the sounds of battle, or her teammates talking – just a gentle rushing sound. She didn’t feel like she was in her lion either… rather she was laying down on something somewhat soft.

Had she been injured? Was she back in one of the medical pods in the castle? What happened to Voltron? What happened to the robeast?!

She shot upright with a gasp.

Pidge wasn’t in her lion, or a medical pod. She was sitting in the middle of a wide, grassy field. Had she been thrown from her lion again? She stood up slowly, expecting to feel pain from her recent crash, but nothing hurt. Pidge looked around, confused. Waist-high golden grass stretched around as far as she could see, it met a cloudless, deep blue sky at the horizon. The sun was strong and warm, a breeze gently caressed the grass.

Pidge turned a slow circle, and saw someone approaching through the grass. She was tall, walked with a languid grace. As she got closer, Pidge could see she was covered in golden fur, a tufted tail waved behind her with each step. She wore a dark green dress; it draped over one shoulder, was belted at her waist, and fell to her feet. She had a feline face, broad muzzle, light green eyes, round ears, no hair. She smiled gently at Pidge.

Pidge knew she had never seen anything like her, but she knew her immediately. “Green?”

The lioness stopped a few feet in front of Pidge. “Hello, my Paladin.”

“Is this a dream?”

“In a sense, yes, but I am not a fabrication of your mind. This is just the easiest way for us to talk.”

Pidge was immediately annoyed; her hand ached with the memory of her recent shock. “What the hell happened?” she snapped. “Why did you reject me? Our team needed us!”

Green frowned at Pidge. “My Paladin, I did not reject you. You were fighting me.”

Pidge shook her head furiously. “No! I knew exactly what I needed. We needed the vine canon!”

“Yes, we did. But you were not committed to the battle. Your heart and mind are divided. To enter battle while distracted is a fatal choice.”

Pidge crossed her arms uncomfortably. The lioness was right.

“You dwell on your past injuries.”

“Can you blame me? It’s not something I can just erase from my memory. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

“You are afraid.”

“Of course I’m afraid! I shouldn’t be, but I am.” Pidge looked down at her lion’s bare, clawed feet.

“Fear should not be a source of shame, my Paladin.” Green explained gently, almost like a mother lecturing her child. She placed a paw on Pidge’s shoulder, directly over the fading marks left there by the Galra. They stung with memory. “Fear has been one of the driving forces of life, of evolution, and growth since the beginning of time. It is not fear which weakens a soul. It is how one faces their fear that leads either to growth or decay.”

Pidge reached up to her shoulder tentatively and touched her lion’s paw. It was soft and warm, but she could feel just beneath the fur at the tips were sharp, lethal claws. “I shouldn’t be afraid of the Galra. I’m a Paladin of Voltron. I’ve been fighting them for so long. Even after what they did to me…”

“Your fear of the Galra is not what’s holding you back. I know you will overcome that in due time.”

Pidge dropped her hand and looked up into the lion’s eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“You are afraid of yourself.”

Pidge furrowed her brow. “No I’m not.”

“No? You haven’t had dark thoughts crossing your mind, filling the quiet hours, haunting your nightmares?”

Pidge looked away, flushing slightly. Green was right. More often than not when her thoughts returned to that day they took a violent turn. Not violence from Galra, but violence from her. In her nightmares her pinned arms found hold of a weapon – something sharp, a knife on a belt, a jagged shard of metal. She found the strength to lash out, cut deep. Her nightmares turned into bloodbaths… and she enjoyed them. The thought of her actually taking a life in that manner was enough to turn her stomach… but, god, the thoughts of revenge were so sweet.

She hadn’t told anyone, she hadn’t mentioned her nightmares. She was afraid the other Paladins would be repulsed by this violent streak. She was afraid they’d say she was unfit to be a Paladin anymore. If she couldn’t be a Paladin then what use was she?

“You are afraid of this darker side of yourself. You are afraid to speak of what you truly desire.”

“I just want to move on,” Pidge insisted quietly. “I just want to be a Paladin of Voltron, I want to bring Zarkon’s reign to an end and restore peace to the universe. I want to find my brother and my father. I want to take them home.”

“Yes, those are all things you desire.” Green purred gently. “But there is more. Something you will not even admit to yourself.”

“No… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Pidge insisted, shaking her head slowly.

“My Paladin, if you cannot trust yourself, I cannot help you. What is it that you truly want?”

“I don’t know.” Pidge was beginning to get frustrated.

“You do. You are just afraid to admit it.”

“I don’t know!” Pidge snapped. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

The lioness glared down at Pidge sternly. “I want you to be honest with yourself. This is not an exam you can pass by regurgitating the memorized answer.”

Pidge stepped out from under Green’s paw. “I just want to move on.”

“How? How do you want to move past this? Would you have those that hurt you go on with their lives.”

“No.” The thought alone left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Would you see them go unpunished for their crimes?”

“No!”

Green paused for a moment, waiting for Pidge to continue, but her Paladin remained silent, unwilling to put her desires into words. Her next question was soft and venomous. “Do you wish for retribution?”

“I do! God, yes I do. I want them to hurt. I want revenge on those damned Galra!” Pidge shouted, furious tears burning in her eyes.

The lioness smiled, broad, toothy, predatory. “And you shall have it, my Paladin.” The promise rumbled in her throat like thunder. She stepped forward and placed both hands on Pidge’s shoulders. Green pulled her close and bent her head to touch her forehead to Pidge’s.

Pidge leaned into the embrace and closed her eyes. She thought briefly that the lioness smelled like rich warm earth, rain on the wind of an approaching storm, decay in an ancient forest. The touch departed, but the scent lingered. Pidge opened her eyes and she was back in her cockpit.

“Pidge! Pidge talk to us! Are you okay?” Shiro’s voice was tight and anxious.

“I’m alright.” Pidge assured them. She stooped down and picked up her bayard.

 “That was quite a crash, is your lion alright?” Hunk asked.

Pidge’s fingers danced over the controls, Green responded immediately. She stood up and shook off the dirt and debris.

“She’s fine. We’re both fine.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I play around with alien biology. Because I can.  
> Sorry again, Pidge. You've had a couple really hard chapters.

**Chapter 2**

 

Pidge was not okay.

That was a pretty obvious statement given what she had gone through three months back. Hunk barely expected her to be any kind of ‘okay’ after that… mentally at least. Her physical wounds had healed up long ago, thanks to some time in the Altean medical pods.

But she was hardly eating anything, and she was sick almost every day.

At first she chalked it up to food poisoning – some of the 10,000 year old food goo must have gone bad, that’s all. But nobody else got sick. Then she said it was probably a stomach bug – who knew what kind of space germs they were coming into contact with out there. She said it had cleared up after a week or two, but Hunk knew better.

He knew the tricks people pulled when they had to sneak away to vomit. He had practically written the book on it thanks to a long history of an explosive digestive tract.

He just wasn’t sure anyone else had noticed. He wasn’t sure how to bring it up to Pidge.

He had a pretty good idea what was wrong with her. She had started getting sick about a month after the Galra had her and it hadn’t gotten any better over the last couple months. She wasn’t sick, and she wasn’t having food problems.

She had a parasite.

He spent days agonizing over who to talk to about this. Pidge? He didn’t want to hurt her and drag up painful memories. Allura? She was a girl, she probably knew a little better than he did how to handle this. In the end he settled on Shiro. As leader, and a second older brother to Pidge, he would probably handle this best.

He went searching for his leader, and found him on the bridge in quiet conversation with Allura and Coran. Hunk felt bad for interrupting, but he had resolved himself to telling Shiro, he wasn’t about to back down.

“Shiro, can I talk to you for a minute… about Pidge?” he asked, pointing over his shoulder to the door where they could have a private conversation.

“We were just talking about her. What is it?” Shiro asked, clearly not finding it necessary to leave the bridge.

Hunk sighed softly, then realized that of the others on the ship to talk this over with, Allura and Coran would be the ones he went to. He took a fortifying breath and spat it out. “I think Pidge is pregnant.”

Shiro blinked once. “Yeah, we do too.” He motioned for Hunk to take a seat and join them.

Hunk sat down. “What tipped you off?” he asked soberly.

“She hasn’t had her cycle in months,” Allura explained. Hunk flushed slightly but said nothing. “She hasn’t taken any supplies. The mice said she didn’t have any stored in her room.”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed how often she’s been sick lately,” Shiro added.

“That’s what got my attention. It’s been too long for food poisoning or a stomach bug.” Hunk paused and wrung his hands. “Do you think she knows?”

“She is awful young,” Coran added. “When do you humans teach children about such things?”

“She’s not _that_ young, Coran. She knows how it works,” Shiro confirmed. “I think she knows something is wrong, otherwise I think she would have asked for help. I’m just not sure if she’s ignoring the signs and hoping we do too, or if she’s misinterpreting them.”

“She’s going to have to come clean soon, before it puts her at risk,” Allura said.

“Is there someplace she can go, someone she can see to… get taken care of?” Hunk asked, dancing around the subject. He knew Pidge, and if she had to finally accept what was happening, he knew she would want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

“I can put my feelers out and see,” Coran volunteered. “We’re enemies of the Galra Empire, so we can’t walk into any clinic or office. But there’s always someone out there who is willing to be discrete for the right amount of coin.”

Shiro nodded. “Look into that Coran. Hunk, will you come with me and talk to her?”

“I think she’s down in the engine rooms. She’s been spending a lot of time down there recently,” Allura advised. “I’ll stay here and help Coran look.”

Shiro thanked her and headed for the door. Hunk followed him to the lift.

“What if she doesn’t know, Shiro?” he asked as the doors slid closed. “What if we’re about to ruin her life even more?”

“I doubt she doesn’t know,” Shiro stated grimly. “Either way, it’s best to get it taken care of now rather than wait for it to get worse.”

They stepped into the engine room, and saw Pidge connected to the control console via her laptop, hunched over, typing away furiously. She didn’t notice them come in.

“Pidge, we need to talk,” Shiro said, stepping forward.

She glared up at the two over the tops of her glasses. Hunk thought for a moment she was about to let loose with a sharp comment, like usual. She didn’t. She just sighed and closed her laptop.

“What’s up?”

Shiro sat on the ground and Hunk followed his lead. Pidge looked away from them, busying herself with setting her computer aside, as they got to her level. Shiro didn’t waste any time dancing around the subject. “You’re pregnant.”

Pidge blinked, her jaw tightened, and she stared at her left shoe. “No I’m not,” She muttered through clenched teeth.

“Yes you are. Did you think we wouldn’t notice your morning sickness?” Shiro asked, pressing Pidge a little harder than Hunk thought he would.

Hunk leaned over and muttered “Shiro, maybe a gentler approach would-“

“I’m not…” Pidge insisted, weaker, tears swam in her eyes.

“Pidge, all the signs are there. You should have told us. You can’t keep denying this!”

“I can’t!” she shouted, tears streaming down her face now. “I can’t be. I can’t accept it Shiro! It was bad enough what they did to me but now this… this _thing_ inside me! I can’t deal with this!” Pidge broke down into sobs, burying her face in her hands.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright Pidge,” Hunk soothed her, sidling up next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Pidge leaned into his side and continued to weep. “What the hell, Shiro? When you said we were going to talk to her I didn’t think you were going to yell at her!” Hunk snapped at the other Paladin. “It’s not like this is her fault!”

Shiro looked away too. He hadn’t meant to yell, but what had happened to Pidge, what the Galra had left her with still boiled furiously in his mind. He often found his anger with them misdirected to his team. The other Paladins had rolled with it; they understood where it was coming from. But when he saw the tremor of fear go through Pidge as soon as he said she was pregnant, when he saw the way she paled and clenched her fists, it exploded out of him. Pidge didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to consider him her friend and leader if he couldn’t control his emotions.

“I’m sorry, Pidge, but this isn’t something you can wish away.” He stood up. “Coran and Allura are looking for someone who can take care of you. I’ll let you know when they find someone.” Without another word, he walked away.

Hunk sat with Pidge, one arm over her shoulders, letting her cry, saying nothing. He knew there was nothing he could say to make this right, to make her feel better. He just hoped that in a day or two, something could be done that would.

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It had taken a couple days for Coran to find someone to help Pidge. The Galra’s claws were everywhere, finding someone willing to perform an off books abortion who didn’t have a high fatality rate hadn’t been easy.

Pidge had been avoiding everyone since that day. She never outright said it, but she was particularly avoiding Shiro. She had been failing as a Paladin in recent months. It didn’t take a genius to see that. She was letting the team down… so it wasn’t surprising that Shiro was getting angry with her. But things could finally go back to normal in a few days.

When Allura called her to the bridge, she knew what for. They had found someone. She was terrified of what was to come, but she wanted this thing gone. Coran and Allura were waiting for her on the bridge, as was Shiro. Pidge avoided his eyes.

“You found someone?”

“Yes, he goes by the name of Almrax,” Coran began explaining. “He’s on a Galra controlled planet, which makes things a bit tricky, but he’s known to be discrete and his reputation looks clean even with the nature of his work.”

Pidge nodded, and swallowed a lump in her throat. “When can we go?”

“As soon as you’re ready,” Allura offered quietly.

“We can drop into the system and hide out behind its gas giant.” Cora pulled up a map of the system and highlighted his plan. “Unfortunately taking a lion into the middle of a Galra controlled planet would be a bit too conspicuous, but one of the pods would serve you nicely.

“You shouldn’t go alone, though,” Shiro insisted.

“Someone will have to pilot the pod after,” Allura agreed. “You’ll be in no shape to fly. It’s your choice Pidge, but I think Shiro and I should accompany you. Shiro can guard the pod. I can be with you.”

Pidge nodded again, processing the information. She was quiet for a minute, the others let her think. Finally she spoke up with an assurance in her voice. “Allura can come with me. Shiro should stay here in case the castle is found. I think the two of us will be okay. We shouldn’t tie anyone else up so deep in Galra territory.”

Allura and the others agreed, though Shiro wasn’t entirely comfortable just sitting back and waiting. This was Pidge’s decision.

“I’ll open up the teleduv, then,” Allura said, moving over to her command post.

 

Pidge was quiet the whole trip down to the planet. She hadn’t once complained about having to borrow Lance’s hooded jacket, even though it was several sizes too big. Lance did plenty of complaining for the both of them anyway. She just sat in the co-pilot’s seat. Knees pulled up to her chest, hood pulled over her face, looking pale and tired.

Allura didn’t press for conversation. There was no sense in forcing a chat to distract Pidge from the business at hand. The doctor they were looking for worked out of the planet’s capital. It was an expansive city that quickly fell from opulence and glamour in the center to poverty and dark alleys in the outskirts. She found one such alley to hide the pod in.

They stepped out of the pod. Litter skirted past their feet, caught on the breeze. Allura tried not to wrinkle her nose at the smell as she pulled her own hood over her head. She turned back to Pidge, and with a silent nod they took off down the dirty streets, looking for the address Coran had provided. Allura was constantly on alert, glancing down every street and alley they passed. But the streets were mostly empty, and everyone else they passed kept their heads bowed too.

When they reached the address, Allura stopped short, mildly surprised. She hadn’t expected a back alley butcher to be openly practicing medicine, but here it was – a small community clinic. Its windows were scummy and impossible to see through, but that was all the better in Allura’s mind. More privacy. Perhaps this would be less traumatizing for Pidge.

She gripped the Paladin’s shoulder reassuringly before stepping through the door. A soft chime sounded as they entered. There was a front desk – currently empty – and a collection of mismatched chairs scattered around the waiting room. A single door led back into the exam rooms.

They stood there a moment, wondering if they should call for someone. Allura was about to suggest Pidge take a seat when the door slid open. She felt Pidge tense up when she saw the newcomer.

He was Galra, tall, lanky, deep violet skin and even darker hair, long pointed ears. He wore civilian clothing and a pair of glasses perched on his nose. He was reading something out of a file and didn’t look up as the door closed behind him. There was something off about him, but Allura couldn’t place it.

“Can I help you?” he asked, flipping the file closed, finally looking up.

Allura finally saw what was different about him. His eyes weren’t the pupil-less yellow eyes of the Galra. Rather he had deep green irises, and faint yellow sclera. They were not Galra eyes.

“We’re looking for Almrax.”

“You found him.” He was very soft-spoken for a Galra. He looked them over quietly for a moment. “You need something off-books,” he concluded.

Pidge and Allura nodded.

“Which one is the patient?”

“I am,” Pidge muttered, half raising her hand.

He stepped aside from the door and motioned them through. “Come on through. Your friend can come if you want her to. Go ahead and sit on the table, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Pidge had a tight grip on Allura’s wrist, she was coming whether the doctor said she could or not.

The exam room was cleaner than Allura expected, given the appearance of the outside of the clinic. The equipment was old, worn, well used, but it appeared to be in working order. The exam table was thinly padded, and didn’t have any paper or coverings, but it smelled strongly of cleaner and disinfectant. Pidge perched gingerly on the edge of the table, her feet dangled in the air, twitching nervously.

Almrax came in shortly and immediately went to wash his hands. “I locked the front doors, we shouldn’t have any interruptions,” he explained.

Allura didn’t quite like the thought of being locked in with a Galra, but the thought of someone else coming into the clinic was even worse. She studied Almrax critically, he didn’t look like a fighter, and if he had ever been trained it was clearly many years ago. She was confident she could take him in a fight if it came down to it.

“What brings you in today?” he asked, drying his hands.

Pidge didn’t look like she was going to give an answer. Allura spoke up for her. “She needs an abortion.”

“I’m sorry, but the patient is going to have to answer the questions.”

Allura gave Pidge’s hand a reassuring squeeze. The girl nodded, took a shaking breath, and spoke. “I need an abortion.”

Almrax rolled over a small cart with several devices on it. “How long has it been?”

“Three months, one week, and four days.”

“I see.” Almrax picked up a device from the cart, a tablet sized screen and accompanying scanner. He activated the screen and set it on top of the cart. “Lay down, please, and lift your shirt.”

Pidge froze, eyeing the blank screen and device in the doctor’s hands. “I don’t want to see it!”

“You won’t have to,” Almrax reassured her, angling the screen away from her. “But I need a quick look. It will only take a minute.”

Pidge bit her lip, but eased back on the table. She turned her head away and gripped Allura’s hand tighter.

Allura watched Almrax gently lift the hem of Pidge’s shirt. She was shocked to see there was already a noticeable bulge in Pidge’s lower abdomen. It shouldn’t be that big already, should it?

Almrax said nothing and squeezed some gel over the spot. He then placed a palm-sized scanner right in the gel. The device hummed softly. Pidge squeezed her hand tighter. Allura patter her hands comfortingly and divided her attention between Pidge and the Galra doctor.

He said nothing, and watched the imager’s screen. After a minute of silence, he furrowed his brow, frowning at the imager. He shifted away from Pidge by a few inches.

“He was Galra, wasn’t he?” he asked quietly.

Pidge said nothing. Allura nodded. Almrax accepted her answer this time.

He removed the device and wiped the gel off Pidge’s skin. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you.”

Allura’s anger was quick to flare up. “What is that supposed to mean? This _is_ what you do!”

Almrax didn’t respond to her anger, rather he watched both of them with solemn eyes. “You’re too late. It’s already attached.”

“It’s only been three months!” Pidge insisted, sitting up.

“You can’t put your loyalty to the Galra Empire before her. She can’t live like this!”

Almrax removed his glasses, and closed his eyes. He released what sounded like a tired sigh. “This isn’t about loyalty. It’s about biology.” He waited for Allura or Pidge to snap back at him. They were both quiet, but seething. “What do you know of Galran reproductive physiology?”

“Not much.” Allura shrugged. “Historically you’ve had a low birth rate.”

“It’s not the birth rate that’s the problem. It’s the conception rate – fertilization is rare, it has to count. Evolution favored the strongly attached embryos, they weren’t lost easily. It came to be that a Galra fetus is more parasitic than anything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Pidge asked.

“Most live-birth species attach to the mother via an umbilicus and placenta, all contained within the womb. A Galran placenta reaches out beyond the womb, it tangles itself up in the mother’s organs and vital blood supplies; a richer nutrient supply, a stronger attachment. Those attachments do not degrade until end of term. No doubt, you've been experiencing severe abdominal pain.”

Pige nodded mutely.

“What is that all supposed to mean?” Allura asked.

“It means the fetus ensures its survival. If it doesn’t survive, it takes the mother with it.”

“I don’t believe you.” Allura’s voice was cold. She could feel Pidge’s hand shaking in her grasp. This Galra was playing games with her friend’s life. She would not stand for it.

“If you want to look at the screen you can have all the proof you want.”

“Show me.” Allura demanded, glaring at the Galra. She turned to Pidge and muttered quickly, “Don’t look I you don’t want to, Pidge.”

Almrax waited for Pidge to avert her gaze before he turned the imager’s screen to Allura. “You see these projections, radiating out into the abdominal cavity?” he pointed out numerous long, root-like figures on the screen. They spread deep into the abdomen, branching far away from the womb. “Judging by the high degree of attachment I would guess it’s a first or second generation hybrid.”

Allura swallowed nervously, those had not been present in the scans she had taken of Pidge a few months ago. She looked over at her friend. Pidge looked even paler, her jaw clenched tightly, she shook all over, and breathed rapidly.

“She cannot live with this thing.”

“She’s going to have to, unless you'd rather see her dead.”

“If you won’t help her, we’ll find someone else who will!” Allura snapped, shooting to her feet.

Almrax didn’t appear at all surprised or concerned that Allura was planning on walking out. When he spoke, it was as calm as it had been the whole time. “Tell me, Princess, where do you intend to take a Paladin of Voltron for an abortion nobody will perform?”

Allura stiffened, surprised that they had been recognized. “How did you? Never mind. Someone out there will help.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you two very public enemies of the Galra Empire? You came to me for a reason. You’re desperate, and need discretion. You know my reputation. I do a great many things others would consider unethical. I assure you, if I cannot do it, nobody else would dare try.”

Allura turned back and fixed Almrax with a steely glare. “How can we trust your word? How do we know you aren’t just telling tales to scare us, to force her into carrying another soldier for the good of the Galra Empire?”

Almrax matched Allura’s cold glare. “I assure you I have no loyalty, nor love for the Empire.”

“Why not? You’re Galra, you benefit by default from that.”

“And look at where it’s got me.” Almrax gestured around the room. “The Empire wanted nothing to do with me… I guess they thought I inherited too much from my mother.” He adjusted his glasses to drive in the point.

“Are you part of the resistance then?”

Almrax scoffed. “What resistance? Aside from Voltron, there is not resistance against Zarkon. And your track record isn’t all that reassuring. I’m just trying to survive and help people however I can.”

Allura remained unconvinced, but Pidge gave her hand a gentle squeeze. She backed down a touch.

“If you’re not about to run off, and if you’ll allow me, I’d like to do an exam.” Almrax turned to Pidge. “You’ll want to stay in good health for the remainder, for your sake.”

“Okay” Pidge nodded and lay back down on the table. Almrax began gently prodding her abdomen. “It is supposed to be that big already?” she asked quietly.

“You are small compared to most Galra,” Almrax stated carefully. “If you make it to full term I would consider it a miracle.”

“How long would that be?”

“It varies with hybrids, but they average forty to forty-five weeks. You will probably be on the lower end.”

The math was simple enough. Twenty-five and a half weeks of this at minimum. Six more months… “And what if I don’t make it?”

“The attachments degrade as the end approaches; the risk lowers each day past thirty-two weeks.” Almrax finished his probing and moved to take Pidge’s other vitals. “I imagine being a Paladin of Voltron is not a low risk job, however, for your sake I recommend avoiding any battles for the time being.”

Pidge nodded, but said nothing. She listened to Almrax while he worked; trying to absorb the information he was throwing at her. It was difficult as reality settled in and panic threatened to overwhelm her. Allura held her hand the entire time, reassuring, comforting.

 

The flight back to the castle was even tenser than the initial flight had been. Pidge was crying. Tears had been rolling down her cheeks since they left the clinic. Allura let her cry. Now there truly was nothing that could be said or done to make things better for Pidge.

The castle contacted them as soon as they broke the planet’s atmosphere. “That was quicker than I thought it would take,” Shiro offered as a greeting. Allura could hear the anxiety in his voice. “How’s Pidge?”

Allura looked at the Paladin. She said nothing, just shook her head “no.” Allura understood.

“Right now she needs time. It will get worse before it gets better,” she said delicately.

“Is there anything we can do?”

“No. We’ll just… we’ll talk about it when we get back to the castle.”

“I see… we’ll see you soon.”

Allura ended the call and turned back to Pidge. “If you want to lie down in the back, it’ll be a little while until we get to the castle. And – you don’t have to answer right away – but if it would be easier for you I can … I can tell Shiro and the others. Only if you want me to, though.”

Pidge thought for a moment before standing up. “I guess whoever runs into him first can tell him. Doesn’t really matter at this point how he knows,” she muttered before walking into the back.

Allura waited until she was out of sight before letting her tears run. She wept for her friend, for the impossibly difficult road Pidge would have to face alone. Of course she and the Paladins would be there for Pidge every step of the way, but they couldn’t carry this thing for her. They wouldn’t be able to bear her pain for her.

 

Pidge had no intention of walking with Allura onto the bridge where Shiro and Coran and probably everyone else would undoubtedly be waiting to hear the news. They were probably already there, waiting for Allura to come in and assure them that she was resting in the infirmary and that the operation had been a success, that they’d have the old Pidge back good as new in a matter of days.

She certainly had no desire to be there and face her teammates and tell them the truth. Allura could tell them that she was still pregnant, that there was nothing that could be done, that Pidge had to carry this thing or else she’d die. No, she wasn’t dealing with that today.

When the pod landed, Pidge slipped out the back before the engines even had a change to fully power down. She heard Allura call after her as she made a break for the door, but the princess didn’t follow. Pidge didn’t quite know where she wanted to go. Anyone could find her in her room, or in the engine rooms, Green's hangar, or anywhere else she liked to frequent in the castle. She took off at random, hoping to find some secluded corner to hide in until she was sure Allura had told the others. Then she could go back to her room. She just couldn’t be there when the others found out.

Tears filled her eyes, blurred her vision; not that it mattered, she was staring straight at the floor anyway. She turned a corner and ran straight into someone.

“Pidge?” their voice was shocked and concerned. They held her shoulders to stabilize her. “Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary?”

Pidge recognized his boots and she looked to her left shoulder and saw a familiar black and white plated hand. She broke into sobs, leaning against him. “I’m sorry, Shiro. I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. What’s wrong, Pidge? What happened?”

She didn’t respond for a moment, just shook her head, trying unsuccessfully to stem her tears.

Shiro tried to comfort her, patting her shoulders gently. “Should I take you to the infirmary?” he asked softly.

“There’s not point. Nothing can be done.”

“I don’t understand, Pidge.”

“It would have killed me, if I had tried to get rid of it. It would have killed me!” She tried to step away, but her legs gave out beneath her. Shiro barely caught her as she collapsed onto the floor.

“I – I don’t understand. What would have killed – Oh… oh god, Pidge, I’m so sorry.”

“It-it’s all tangled up inside me. I can’t get rid of it. I’m sorry, Shiro… I’m useless now… I-I’m sorry. I’m broken.”

“Oh, Pidge, you’re not broken. Nobody… this isn’t your fault.”

Pidge was inconsolable, just sobbing “I’m sorry” over and over. Shiro heard rapid approaching footsteps as Allura turned the corner, no doubt looking for Pidge. Shiro wanted to know if what Pidge had said was true. The tight lipped, tearful expression on her face was confirmation enough.

“We’re here for you Pidge,” was all Shiro could say.

He and Allura helped Pidge to her feet and practically carried her back to her room. They sat her on the edge of her bed. She wobbled unsteadily for a moment, looking on the verge of collapse.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

Allura grabbed her trash can just in time. Quite honestly she was surprised Pidge has lasted this long without vomiting. Shiro hovered over her uncertainly, wanting to reach out and comfort her, not wanting to make things worse. Allura quietly asked him to go get some water.

When Pidge finished heaving she rested her forehead against the rim of her trash can. It was only a few moments before she started sobbing again. Allura took the freshly procured cup of water and offered it to Pidge. “Just take a sip, just to rinse out your mouth.”

Pidge obliged, spitting it back into the trash can and then taking another small sip. Allura took the can away and gently pushed Pidge down. She pulled a blanket up over Pidge. The paladin immediately turned away from Allura, curling up tight and gripping the blanket close.

“Just rest for now, Pidge. We’re here for you.” Allura turned back to Shiro, picking up the trash can. “I’m going to go clean this. Stay with her.”

Shiro and Allura sat with Pidge until she fell asleep. It took longer than they expected. Pidge had had a trying day and they expected her mental and physical exhaustion to crop up sooner rather than later. Neither spoke – there wasn’t anything to say. They just kept an eye on Pidge.

When her breathing finally slowed from ragged gasps to even breaths they knew she had finally fallen asleep.

“She shouldn’t be alone,” Allura whispered, breaking the silence. “But the others need to know.”

“I’ll go. I’ll tell them.” Shiro decided.

Allura nodded silently in agreement. She reached forward and adjusted Pidge's blanket.

He abandoned his seat by Pidge’s bedside. His heart was heavy and sick with the news he had to break. He was beginning to wonder if Pidge’s suffering at the hands of the Galra would ever end. They had taken her brother and her father from her they had raped her, and now this...

He wandered around the castle, trying to find the rest of the paladins. Keith was on the training deck. Lance was watching, but clearly not training. Coran was on the Bridge. Hunk was the last to be found in the kitchen. Judging by the piles of food on almost every available surface, he had been stress cooking for most of the day... or the last three days most likely. He was still at it, chopping away at some sort of fruit.

Shiro stopped in the doorway. “Hunk we’ve got a meeting in the lounge.” He knew his voice sounded thick and mournful.

Hunk picked up on it immediately. “There’s something wrong with Pidge, isn’t there? What happened? Did something go wrong? Is she dying?”

“I just want to tell everyone once, Hunk. Come on.”

Tears were already forming in Hunk’s eyes. “Oh god, it’s _that_ bad?”

Shiro pressed his mouth into a thin line and turned towards the lounge. Hunk immediately abandoned his cooking and followed, trying not to panic. The atmosphere in the lounge was somber. Coran already had an idea that things hadn’t gone to plan down on the planet. And Lance and Keith had picked up on Shiro’s tone even though they were the only two who didn’t outright know Pidge was pregnant. Everyone watched Hunk sit down, noting his watery eyes, before turning their attention to Shiro.

“How bad is it?” Keith asked.

“Wait, shouldn’t we wait for Allura and Pidge?” Lance interjected before Shiro could answer Keith’s question.

Shiro paused a moment, waiting for any more interruptions, there were none. “Allura is with Pidge. She’s taking care of her.”

“What’s wrong with Pidge?” both Lance and Keith asked.

Shiro took a deep breath, resolving to say it quickly. Dragging it out and hiding it behind euphemisms wouldn’t help anyone. “Pidge is pregnant, by the Galra, and she can’t get rid of it without it killing her.”

Hunk gasped, a few tears rolled down his cheeks. Coran whispered a near silent “oh no.” Lance swore fluently in Spanish. Keith said nothing, just fell still and silent. Shiro waited for them to gather their thoughts.

“How do we know it would kill her?” Keith finally asked.

“She went to get it taken care of today. The doctor told her.”

“Oh god, _that’s_ where she went?” Lance asked, shocked and horrified. “I thought she and Allura were just on a tampon run.” He dropped his head into his hands. “I gave her so much shit for taking my jacket.”

“That explains a lot…” Keith added, staring pointedly as Shiro’s left foot. “She’d been off over the last several weeks. I thought it was just the trauma.”

“We did too until her morning sickness got bad,” Hunk said.

“You knew, Hunk?” Lance looked around to Coran, who didn’t look nearly as surprised as he should have been. “Were Keith and I the only ones who didn’t know? Why did you keep us in the dark?”

“We figured it out on our own,” Hunk explained.

“God, now I feel even worse. My sisters have been pregnant five times between them. I should recognize the signs by now,” Lance lamented, dropping his head back into his hands.

“How is she handling it?” Coran asked.

“Not very well,” Shiro said with a shake of his head. “She’s not in a good place right now.”

“What can we do to help?” Hunk asked.

“I don’t know.” Shiro admitted defeat with a helpless drop of his arms. “I don’t think there’s really anything we can do except just be there for her.”

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Pidge didn’t come out of her room for three days. She couldn’t face her teammates. She couldn’t stand to see the looks in their eyes. She knew by now the news had to have spread. Everyone had to know by now.

They had left her mostly alone after that first night. Hunk brought food around. Shiro asked if she wanted to talk about it. Lance stopped by once asking if she wanted to play video games or watch a movie. Pidge never responded; she just laid there in the dark waiting for them to leave.

Nobody had mentioned it yet, but Pidge knew she wouldn’t be able to fly her lion. Being a Paladin of Voltron was a physically demanding and risky job and her current precarious state meant she should avoid such situations. Someone else would have to fly the Green Lion for the time being.

There was really only one choice.

Pidge prowled around the castle. It was mid-afternoon, training time. Almost everyone would be preoccupied on the training deck or flying drills, but still, she wanted to avoid any extra attention. Fortunately for her, she found her mark alone in the engine room. He was making adjustments to the scultrite lenses, hanging upside down from the upper beams.

“Coran, can I talk to you?”

The Altean was so startled he dropped his tools. They clattered down into the bottom of the tube. “Pidge! I didn’t hear you come in.” He jumped down and picked up his tools. “What’s wrong?”

“I just want to talk for a minute. Do you have time?”

“Of course, of course.” Coran hurried over to Pidge. “Anything you need.”

Pidge tried to ignore the pitying look in his eyes. “I want you to fly the Green lion.”

Coran had not been expecting that. “What? Me?”

“I can’t fly anymore… it’s too dangerous.”

“Right, right. Your uh… the pregnancy.”

“Can I introduce you? I know you already know Green, but I think she’ll take the transition better if I tell her.”

Coran abandoned his tools and stepped towards the door. “Would you like to lead the way?”

They walked down to the hangar. Green sat there, tall, regal, unmoving, but Pidge always had the impression that she was watching.

“Hey Green, can we talk for a minute?” Pidge asked the lion.

The lions eyes flashed, and she lowered her head to floor level. Pidge moved forward and placed a hand on her lion’s muzzle. Coran stepped back a ways and let her have a moment.

“I’m afraid I can’t fly with you for a while,” she muttered to her lion, touching her forehead to the metal. “I… the Galra… I’m pregnant. It’s too dangerous for me to fly. Don’t worry… I haven’t forgotten our conversation.”

Green rumbled lowly, Pidge felt it move through her. It was reassuring. She wiped away the tears from the corner of her eyes, and stepped back, motion for Coran to come over.

“Coran is going to take my place.”

“Only temporarily,” the Altean insisted. He placed his hand next to Pidge’s. “Mighty Lion, I know I am not your Paladin, but you would honor me greatly if you allowed me to be your pilot.”

There was a moment of tense silence. Pidge could sense Green was considering Coran. She silently implored her lion to accept her substitute. It would only be another six months. Finally, the lion rumbled again, her eyes flashed brightly.

Pidge breathed a sigh of relief and dropped her hand. “She’s accepted you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to wait a couple days to post this chapter. But I couldn't pass up posting this for the Ides of March. I'd never forgive myself.

**Chapter 3**

Lance offered Keith a silent nod as he stepped onto the lift. Keith didn’t look particularly talkative in the first place, and Lance had more important things on his mind. Blue had been nagging him recently. Not that she was outright saying anything to him, but every time they flew he got this same thought in the back on his mind. _Talk to Pidge. Help Pidge._

He thought he had been following his lion’s instructions. He had tried to be a great friend to Pidge over the last couple months – video game tournaments, watching alien movies and trying to figure what exactly was going on, giving her distractions, however brief, from her grief and pain. It was helping her, but apparently it wasn’t the kind of help Blue wanted him to give.

 The elevator stopped and both Lance and Keith stepped out. They jammed shoulders in the doorway.

“Okay, where are you going?” Lance asked, squeezing past Keith.

“To talk to Pidge. Where are you going?”

“Same… why are you looking for Pidge?”

“Why are you?”

“I asked first.”

Keith scowled at Lance. “Fine… my lion has been bugging me recently to go help Pidge.”

“Blue’s been bugging me too. Every time we fly I get this nagging in the back of my mind.”

“Yeah, like there’s something we need to do for Pidge… something with those Galra.”

“You think? Blue just keeps bugging me to help Pidge and talk to her.”

Keith shrugged. “Maybe I’m just filling in the blanks, but I wouldn’t mind a chance to get my hands on those Galra.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that either.” Lance dug his hands in his pockets and looked down to hide his scowl. “Well, since we’re both after Pidge for the same reason, we might as well go talk to her together.”

Keith shrugged again but fell into step beside Lance. They didn’t get very far before they ran into Pidge herself.

“Oh, Keith, Lance, I was just looking for you two.”

“What a coincidence, we’re looking for you.” Lance offered with a smile. “What can we do for you, Pidge?”

She looked up and down the hall before speaking. “Actually, let’s go talk in my room. I don’t want to be overheard.”

Lance and Keith shared a curious look, but followed her. Pidge closed the door behind them and stood there, fidgeting for a moment before speaking. “I want you guys to help me find the Galra who attacked me.”

“Funny, we were coming to offer our help to find them,” Keith said.

“Yeah, have you been talking to our lions?” Lance asked. “Because they keep bugging us about this.”

Pidge looked confused and shook her head. “This is the first time I’ve said this to anyone… well, except Green, but I’m pretty sure I was unconscious at the time. Maybe she’s been talking to the other lions. I’ve got a feeling they have some way of communicating with each other. They’d have to to form something as complex as Voltron so it’s not unexpected. And-”

“Pidge.” Lance cut her off gently.

“Right, sorry.” Pidge sighed softly. “I know I won’t be able to do it alone, but I need to find those Galra. I need to see them on my terms.”

“You want revenge?” Keith asked softly.

“I want revenge.”

“Whatever you need us to do Pidge,” Lance vowed. “We’ll help however we can.”

Pidge smiled warmly at them. “Thank you, both of you.”

“So, what do you plan on doing?” Keith asked.

“I don’t know. For now I just want to find them… somehow we’re going to have to hack into a command console.”

“Not necessarily,” Keith mused. “We do have friends on the inside who can get us the information we need.”

“We’ve got to be quiet about it, though. I don’t want anyone else to know. They’ll try and stop us.”

“Right, first rule of Revenge Club, don’t talk about Revenge Club.” Lance smirked.

Pidge shot him a withering look. “God, Lance, that movie is _so_ old.”

Keith decided to get the planning back on track before Lance could go off on a tangent defending his horrible taste in ancient movies. “So first step: I can get a message out to the Blade; hopefully they’ll be willing to set up a meeting. But we have to get there.”

“If the meeting is close enough, we can take a lion. Or find some excuse to get the castle close there.” Lance scratched his chin thoughtfully.

“I could make up a suspected location for Matt. He bounces around randomly enough I doubt anyone would find it suspicious.”

“And after we have the meeting? If we get the information we need?” Lance asked.

“We’ll plan that move as we get to it. There’s too much in the air right now to set any solid plans” Pidge said with a shrug.

“What if the Blade doesn’t have the information we need? What then?” Keith added.

“Our usual method. Attack a base or ship and hack the command console. That should get us the information we need.”

“We can keep that as Plan B,” Keith suggested. “Attacking anything is going to require the whole team, they may get suspicious.”

“True. Let’s hope then that the Blade of Marmora is feeling helpful…”

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Keith had hardly expected the Blade to tell them to come to their base for this meeting. He expected to rendezvous on a remote ship or deserted moon. Even after all this time, they did not like Voltron coming to the base. It was difficult to know if they were being tracked or if a spy had slipped aboard. Perhaps their years of alliance were starting to pay off, and one lion was harder to track than a whole castle. Much of the secrecy was moot for the Paladins anyway.

Red touched down gently on the surface. Keith could still see some of the marks from their first visit. He gave Red a semi-stern warning to behave herself this time.

Red rumbled back. _No promises._

She lowered her head to let the Paladins disembark. They both helped Pidge down the drop from Red’s mouth – much to her annoyance – and Lance made sure Pidge didn’t lose her footing on the uneven ground.

It wasn’t like they were being particularly covert about Pidge’s condition. Her armor and body glove clung tight, and at this point there was little room for speculation. Still, Keith bristled when he saw one of their waiting escorts lean over and mutter something to his partner. He held his tongue though; neither Lance nor Pidge seemed to notice.

The Galra said nothing as they lead the Paladins into the base. They were ushered into a room where Kolivan was already waiting, his lieutenant hovering close behind. His eyes widened slightly as he took in Pidge’s shape.

“So you were the Paladin,” he mused cryptically.

Pidge furrowed her brow as she took a seat, flanked by Keith and Lance. “I’m not entirely sure what you mean by that.”

“Several months ago there was quite the uproar when two Galra officers allowed a captured and detained Paladin to escape right under their noses. There were several _other_ reprimands as well.”

“Then it shouldn’t be much of a stretch to figure out why we’re here,” Pidge shot back. A little less diplomatic than was probably wise, but Keith wasn’t about to step in. This was Pidge’s show.

“No, I daresay your motives are quite clear.” Kolivan leaned back, studying Pidge. “Tell me, Little Lioness, does it please you to know they both lost their ranks and titles, and quite publicly as well?”

Pidge scowled at the nickname, but let it slide. “No. Their punishment was for losing a Paladin, not for what they did to me.”

“They have been humiliated and disgraced.”

“So have I. The only difference is I have the guts to do something about it.”

“Why would you come to us then?”

“You know who they are, where to find them. You’re our easiest source of information.”

“We are not a database for you to withdraw information from at your leisure.”

“And I’m not that desperate. If you won’t help then I will find what I need elsewhere.” Pidge stood up; Keith and Lance were quick to follow.

Kolivan chuckled, it almost sounded patronizing. “Sit down, Little Lioness, we may have the information you seek.”

It wasn’t a promise, or an assurance that the Blade would help, but it kept Pidge’s temper in check for a little while longer. Kolivan was testing Pidge, but for what Keith couldn’t be certain.

“You are in a rather delicate position, are you not, Little Lioness?” Pidge scowled again, she had long grown tired of people referring to her as ‘delicate,’ but she held her tongue. “Surely this revenge plot of yours would be better suited for a later time.”

“I’ve never been much of a procrastinator.”

“What is your plan then?”

Pidge hesitated. They didn’t really have a concrete plan. Beyond figuring out where the Galra had gotten off to, everything was up in the air.

Kolivan scoffed disdainfully. “You are on a suicide mission. Did you think the three of you would be able to storm a Galra base, subdue the commanders, and exact your revenge?”

“We’ve done it before,” Pidge growled.

Keith realized Kolivan was egging her on, trying to get a rise out of her. He wanted to warn her, remind her to mind her temper. He was pretty sure that Kolivan was testing Pidge under pressure, and if she blew it they’d have to do things the hard way.

“Not very successfully, as I recall. We have bailed you Paladins out of a tight spot more than once.”

“And we’ve saved your sorry tails just as many times,” Pidge shot back.

Kolivan studied Pidge shrewdly for a moment. “You still have no plan, and only a vague goal. Little Lioness, I don’t think you truly know what you want, other than to see those Galra punished; which they already have been.”

“Not enough!” Pidge snapped.

“They have been demoted, humiliated, banished to the lowest branch of the Empire. They _have_ been punished. What more could you want?”

“I want their names!” Pidge slammed her fist on the table.

“Why, Little Lioness? Why are you so intent on finding the ones who hurt you? Who overpowered you and shamed you.”

“I want revenge. I want them to suffer like I have suffered. I want them to die for what they did to me!”

Keith and Lance looked at Pidge surprised. They had never seen her like this. Furious, blood thirsty, vengeful. Kolivan leaned back in his chair, a satisfied smirk on his lips.

“Now you sound like a Galra. Our women would never let a man walk free from his crimes against her. He would be branded a rapist and forced to live his life an outcast, a criminal, distrusted by all. It would be a short life; he’d either starve to death or be killed by someone else. But it would be misery and agony. If she was feeling merciful she’d kill him then and there.” He slammed a Galra blade down on the table. “Slit his throat, cut his heart out, or gut him and let him bleed to death slowly. Either way, he would suffer for the remainder of his life. And retribution would be yours.”

Keith met Lance’s eyes over Pidge’s head. They were both certain this talk of violence would turn her away. Pidge was many things, ruthless wasn’t one of them. But she looked more determined than ever.

“Where can I find them?” she asked evenly, coldly.

“Kotan will provide you with the information you need.” Kolivan sat forward and slid the blade across the table. “You will also require this.”

Pidge picked up the knife and turned it over in her hands. “I don’t get it, I’m not Galra. I can’t use this.”

“You may not be of Galra blood, but you carry it. You will not be able to activate the blade, but only the sharpest of tools will do in matters such as this. Your quarry will recognize their ancestral weapon.”

Pidge gripped the knife tightly. “Thank you, I’ll be sure to return it.”

“Keep it, give it to the child.”

Pidge glowered and set the knife down. “I’m not keeping it.”

“No?” Kolivan raised a curious brow. “You’d rather see him snatched up by the Empire, turned into another one of Zarkon’s slaves?”

“I don’t care what happens to it,” Pidge spat. “As soon as it’s done using my body it’s getting dumped on the first doorstep I can find.”

Kolivan nodded solemnly. “I understand. May I offer a suggestion? Bring him here. I cannot guarantee a gentle upbringing, but he will be safe from Zarkon’s reach.”

“Whatever, I don’t care. So long as I don’t have to see it again.” Pidge shrugged, picking up the knife again to examine it.

Keith studied the Galra across the table. “Would you be able to take care of it?”

“He wouldn’t be our first orphan.” Kolivan replied with a knowing smile.

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Lance skimmed through the datapad the Blade had given them. Everything was there that they needed; names, locations, star charts, personnel info, even a general map of the facilities. He wouldn't have been surprised if the Blade had information like this on every Galra installation in the empire. It was a lot easier than trying to dig this information out of a random command ship or outpost data bank.

They were silent as Keith piloted them away from the base. Even after completing the trip several times over the years, getting in and out of the Blade's main base was challenging enough to require Keith's full attention. After they made it to a safe distance, Keith let Red float and turned back to his fellow Paladins.

"So where are we going?"

"There's a lot of information here," Lance commented, still scrolling. "Where do you want to start, Pidge? Their personnel files?"

"Actually, no. I don't really care who they are or what they're called. I just want to know where to find them."

"There's a star chart in here. Let me just..." Lance fiddled with the datapad, trying to bring up a larger view of the map.

Pidge tutted and pulled the datapad out of his hands. A few quick taps and she had a projection of a star map filling Red's cockpit. They all studied the map intently; the locations of the Galra blinked in yellow dots.

“That’s actually really close to us,” Pidge mused, wandering around. “Like, we could get to them both from here in Red without having to go back to the castle.”

Lance leaned casually against the back of the pilot’s seat. “That’s probably a good thing, because I think if we have to go back to the castle Shiro will kill us for running off like this.”

“Yeah, unless it’s an emergency, I’m not opening the comms until we’re done with this.” Keith said. “Otherwise the castle will be on top of us before we could say ‘quiznak.’”

“I agree.” Pidge wandered around the star map again, studying intently. “If I’m doing the math right, it’ll take us the better part of a day to get to the closest base. From there about another day to get to the second. We’ve already lost one day getting out here.” She looked to Keith. “Three days out of the castle, do you think Red can handle it?”

A deep rumble shook the cockpit in response. The message was clear.

“Yeah, I think she can.” Keith smirked.

“Lucky we brought plenty of supplies,” Lance added. “Because I don’t think there are any Space Sheetz out there.”

Keith took the small tablet of information the Blade had given them. “I’ll enter the coordinates. You two might as well settle in, it’s going to be a long trip. Pidge, you might want to start thinking up a plan now.”

 

They were getting close to the first base. Pidge had hammered out most of the plan. It was simple enough.

The Blade’s information confirmed that the remote outposts – more like galactic garbage processing plants – were barely staffed. One single Galra in charge and the rest were sentries, and not many at that. The sparsely populated bases were both perched on asteroids, relatively small complexes, but spacious enough to find a quiet room and get their job done.

Keith would infiltrate the base first, finding the Galra and knocking him unconscious. They’d get him to a nice out of the way room and then Pidge would… do something.

She still wasn’t sure where she stood on that front. She didn’t think she wanted to actually kill the Galra, but at the same time, she didn’t want to just knock him unconscious and talk at him. She was trying to reconcile the two parts of her, one that called for blood and one that begged her to not follow that path. Maybe she would just wing it the first time and build on that for the second.

She had settled in the back, trying to figure it out. Eventually she fell asleep, using one of their bags of supplies for a pillow. Lance was keeping Keith company up front. They had decided it would work best for two paladins to be awake at all times, and Pidge needed the sleep the most.

Lance was unsuccessfully trying to keep them both from being bored out of their minds by playing “I spy.” It didn’t work so well in space. He had just given up and the cabin fell into silence when it was broken by soft, desperate muttering. Lance and Keith shared a grim look.

“I didn’t know Pidge talked in her sleep,” Keith commented, trying not to listen. It wasn’t much of a stretch to figure out what Pidge’s nightmare was.

“Should we wake her up?”

“I don’t think that would help. It won’t make her nightmares stop.”

“Hopefully our current mission will,” Lance muttered.

They tried not listening for a few more minutes until Pidge jerked away with a gasp. Neither of the others said anything about her sleep talking while she pulled herself to her feet and made her way up front.

“How close are we?”

Keith checked the coordinates. “Just a couple more hours. Did you figure out what you’re going to do yet?”

“Actually, I do have an idea now. Did either of you see the movie _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_?”

Keith hadn’t even heard of the movie, but judging by the wicked grin on Lance’s face Pidge had come up with something good.

“It’s a shame we’ll never find a tattoo gun out here though,” Lance sarcastically lamented.

Pidge matched his grin. “I guess I’ll just have to improvise then.”

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Pidge sighed uncomfortably and readjusted her position. Leaning up against the side of the pilot’s chair was not very comfortable. But Lance was sleeping in the back, and he snored so she wasn’t sitting back there. Besides, Keith needed someone to keep him company while he flew, particularly since he was running on the least amount of sleep.

He had gotten a few hours after their successful stop at the first base. Lance had raided supplies and Pidge had dug around for information on Matt. They were there for over four hours before any of the sentries realized something was amiss. Stupid drones.

Keith said he was fine and the sleep had been plenty, but Pidge knew that a four hour nap only got you so far before you crashed again.

She rolled her neck a couple times, readjusted her laptop screen, and stifled a yawn before diving back into her work.

“Don’t start yawning, or I’ll never stop.” Keith told her, yawning widely.

“You know Red would probably let someone else pilot for a little while so you can get a few hours of sleep.”

The lion rumbled in what sounded like agreement to Pidge.

“I’m fine.” Pidge wasn’t sure if Keith was talking to her of his lion. “I just never thought flying through space could get boring.”

Pidge shrugged. “You can only watch the void for so long.”

“How’s your research coming?”

“Nothing yet, but I’ve only barely scratched the surface. I took a lot of data from that command console and it’ll probably take me at least a week to fully—“ Pidge cut herself off with a soft gasp, laying one hand on her side. Her face grew pale and troubled.

“What’s wrong?” Keith asked looking down to Pidge. His heart hammered nervously and he was a breath away from contacting the castle if something was wrong with Pidge. He and Lance had both agreed before they even left the castle - one sign of harm to Pidge, or something wrong with her, and they were canning the whole mission.

She shook herself and went back to typing. “Nothing, I just… felt it move.”

“Oh.”

They fell into silence, only broken by Pidge’s furious typing and Lance’s occasional snore from the back. Keith half watched Pidge as she squirmed uncomfortably and grimaced every few seconds. After several minutes of silence and typing she slammed her laptop closed.

“Goddamnit! It’s bad enough that I have to carry this abomination for nine months. Do I have to deal with it kicking me for the remaining four months too?” She snapped, dropping her head into her hands.

Keith looked away, unsure of what to say. Persistent thoughts and old questions began flurrying around his mind again. His facial expression must have changed because Pidge was apologizing a moment later.

“Oh, shit, Keith I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s okay, Pidge. I know.” Keith shifted in his seat and pulled one knee up. “It’s just lately I’ve been wondering about things with me being part Galra. I still don’t know who it was in my family, or how far back in my bloodline it goes. How much Galra is still in my blood? I can activate my blade, but I don’t have any other Galra traits…” he trailed off and stared blankly out into space. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Was my mom in the same position as you? Was I a parasite she couldn’t get rid of?”

Pidge swallowed nervously and looked away. This time she was unsure of what to say. It’s not like she could feed Keith the bullshit line ‘I’m sure your mom wanted you very much’ when she herself was going to abandon this unwanted leech and never look back. “Did your dad ever talk about her?”

Keith shook his head. “Only that she left shortly after I was born. He didn’t like talking about her. It’s not like he stuck around much longer anyways.”

Pidge sighed softly and leaned her head back, her eyes drifted out to the stars. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have all the answers?”

“Yeah.”

A heavy silence fell between them. Pidge went back to her typing. Keith watched the stars with tired eyes. He didn't realize he had drifted off until Red grumbled at him gently, but annoyed. Her Paladin needed to sleep.

Pidge closed her laptop, stood up, and stretched. "Go sleep, Keith," she ordered gently. "Red knows where she's going."

"I'm fine," he insisted unconvincingly.

Pidge rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you're going to make me play this card," she muttered before shoving Keith out of his pilot's chair. "Pregnant lady gets the chair. I'm tired of sitting on the floor." she declared, settling into the seat. Red punctuated her declaration with an approving rumble.

Keith heaved a sigh, but walked to the back. "Fine, you win."

Pidge smirked, again unsure if he was talking to her or his lion.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Pidge took one last deep breath. She was ready. “Wake him up.”

Lance threw a bucket of cold water over the Galra. He coughed and spluttered his way back into consciousness.

Pidge planted herself right in front of his gaze. “Remember me?” she asked when he was finally done coughing.

“The Paladin,” the Galra sneered. “Come back for more?” His gaze lingered on Pidge hungrily. “By the look of things we left you with a little parting gift, didn’t we?”

Pidge swallowed the bile that rose in the back of her throat. When she spoke her voice was even and cold. “I’m here to return the favor.”

“Well, it’s highly irregular, but if you’re up for it, I’m game,” he leered, his eyes traveling to Keith and Lance. “I’ve always loved an audience.”

Pidge moved quick as a flash and drove the knife into his right hand. He screamed in pain and surprise. “That’s not what I had in mind,” she murmured in his ear once he stopped screaming.

“Where did you get that blade?” he demanded.

“Do you recognize it? I’m told Luxite is an incredibly rare metal. Some friends loaned it to me. They thought I needed an adequately sharp tool for the task at hand.” Pidge fingered the hilt for a moment before giving the knife a good twist. “Personally I didn’t care what kind of knife I used, so long as it got the job done. Seeing your reaction though has made it worth it.”

He spat at her, Pidge let it fleck on her armor. “What are you going to do? Kill me? You don’t have it in you! You Paladins are all weak, merciful types.”

“No, I’m not going to kill you. That’s better than you deserve.” Pidge gave the knife another twist before yanking it out of his hand. “My friends might, that’s up to them, but I’d rather see you live the rest of your life with scars that show everyone exactly what you are.” Pidge studied the tip of her knife. “Keith, remove his armor.”

The Galra snarled at Keith as he approached, but bound to the table he was helpless to resist. Keith used his own blade to cut away his shirt. The armor could barely be considered that, more like decorative plates sewn onto the fabric.

Pidge tutted as she examined one of the plates. “Wow, when you get shamefully demoted as a Galra they _really_ demote you. I doubt this armor would stop anything more lethal than a stone. She tossed the plate to the floor, certain she heard it crack, and studied her blade again. “I was told that back in the day this would be done with a brand. Unfortunately I couldn’t get my hands on one, but brand or knife they’ll both get the message across.”

The Galra stayed remarkably quiet while Pidge worked. Having the word ‘rapist’ carved into your chest with a knife was an excruciating experience, but Pidge knew he was suffering even if he wasn’t showing it.

“Of course, we wouldn’t want you hiding the truth. After all, you were so proud of your exploits.” She turned his head, pressed it to the table, and carved in an R onto his cheek. This time he was not silent. “There, now you and your friend have matching marks for the next time you get together.”

The Galra growled and spat at Pidge. It was bloody this time; he had clearly bitten through his tongue. “If that’s the worst you can do, I’m unimpressed. You Voltron types are pathetic.”

Pidge turned away, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she wandered to the other side of the table. “What have I forgotten? The hand, the branding… there was something else. Oh, right!” She lashed out and drove her blade clear through his arm, just below his bindings. “Just in case your other scars heal.”

The Galra howled in pain and horror. He pulled his bleeding stump into his chest and for once had nothing else to say. Pidge cleaned her knife on a scrap of his clothing before putting it away.

“I think that’s all.” She said brightly to Keith and Lance. “Let’s get out of here. I’m ready to sleep in my own bed.”

“No you can’t leave me! I’ll bleed to death!” The Galra called after her.

Pidge didn’t grace him with a response as she walked through the door. Keith followed her out of the room, ready to catch any approaching sentries.

Lance however stepped over and gave the Galra a reassuring pat on his freshly cut cheek. “Don’t worry; this base is a little more populated. Keep crying like that and someone will find you eventually. Just keep that arm elevated. The other one was left alone for four hours before someone found him, and I think he survived.”

The Galra was seething, but looked pale and sick. “I don’t understand. She’s the _plant_ paladin! She’s supposed to be soft.”

“Clearly you’ve never experienced a natural disaster.”

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

They didn’t bother wasting any more time on the Galra base. There was no need to raid for supplies or catch a few hours of sleep, and Pidge had started her hack of the command console as soon as they arrived. It was time to return to the castle.

The Paladins were quiet as they flew out of range of the base – satisfied, but quiet. It had been a long three days. They were all tired and in need of a shower and a real meal. They jokingly placed bets on how long it would take the castle to get to them after they opened the commlink again. Lance won at less than three minutes.

 

Shiro and Allura were beside themselves with apoplectic rage. Shiro couldn’t even bring himself to yell at the Paladins – Allura had that part well in hand. He just stood there, glaring down at them – even though Lance had grown several inches taller than him in his final growth spurt – his jaw working furiously, a vein pulsing at his temples.

Lance at least looked a little guilty while they were being reprimanded, but all three of them were firm in their convictions. They had done the right thing and it would be worth the consequences.

Eventually, Allura ran out of steam and grounded them until a proper punishment was decided for the Paladins. She actually sent them to their rooms, no flying, no privileges, nothing.

Pidge would have found the situation entertaining if she hadn’t been so tired. She hadn’t been sent to her room since she was ten. Mostly, though, she was hungry. She was always hungry these days, so before she went to her room she stopped by the kitchen. It was evident that Hunk had been stress cooking again. Pidge got a snack, took a shower, and still spent an hour alone in her room before Shiro came around.

He knocked softly on her door. Pidge let him in, but didn’t open conversation. Shiro sat at the foot of her bed, fidgeting with his robotic hand. He said nothing for several minutes, but didn’t look like he was in a yelling mood anymore.

“Did it help?”

“Yes. It did.”

Shiro crossed his arms tightly. “You should have said something. You should have told me.”

“You would have stopped us.”

“Of course I would have, Pidge!” He snapped. “You don’t need to be flying across half the galaxy hunting down Galra on your own.”

“I wasn’t on my own.”

“Something could have happened to you. You could have been hurt, or worse!” Shiro stopped himself short and took a breath. “You shouldn’t have put yourself in harm’s way like that. The team would have helped you find your closure.”

“Four of you wouldn’t have allowed me the closure I needed.”

“You didn’t need that blood on your hands.”

“We _all_ have blood on our hands, Shiro. I have ever since Haxus. It’s not like it bothers me anymore.”

Shiro swallowed his next comment. He had forgotten that of the Paladins, Pidge was one of the first to take a life, however inadvertently. She may not have been a warrior, and she certainly wasn’t a killer, but she also was aware of the reality of their lives. All of the Paladins had blood on their hands.

“Did you kill them?” he asked quietly, not sure he wanted to know if she had. Part of him still wanted to believe that Pidge wasn’t capable of murder – revenge fueled or otherwise.

“They’ve been taken care of.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that when this thing is out of me in four months I’ll be able to move on. This all will be nothing but a bad memory.”

Shiro sighed, and stood up. He was finding it difficult to truly condemn Pidge's actions. She had taken matters into her own hands. It had been reckless and foolish to do when she was so vulnerable. Revenge wasn't the way of the Paladins of Voltron. But... it _had_ helped her. Could he blame Pidge for trying to take control of something in her life right now?

"I'm glad it helped."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that April 1 is probably a bad choice of day to update this fic, but what the hell. This chapter goes through the rest of the second trimester and into the third. We're getting close to the end of this fic. Probably one more long chapter and maybe a epilogue.  
> Just want to say it now. Thank you so much everyone for reading! And for the Kudos! And for your comments! When I need inspiration to finish up a section and a chapter I like to come back and read over them. You guys keep me inspired and I love you!  
> Thanks so much!

**Chapter 4**

 

Pidge felt like she was going to die… or murder someone it was kind of up in the air at the moment. She had been dealing with cravings for a couple months now, but nothing had hit her as hard as this. And dear, dear Hunk had been doing his best to help where he could. Just last week he had managed to make an acceptable substitute for banana bread using some mostly flavorless alien fruit that had a similar texture to bananas and lots of Isoamyl acetate. Allura and Coran had been dubious of Hunk’s use of a mostly useless chemical compound in food, but even they had enjoyed the not-banana bread.

But this… this was a whole new level of hell, and even Hunk’s best efforts couldn’t recreate an acceptable substitute. Pidge had thought that the craving would pass, but it had been _five_ days and only gotten worse.

But how the hell were they supposed to get Taco Bell when they were on the opposite end of the universe?

Pidge moaned and flopped her had down onto her computer console. Frustrated tears burned in her eyes. She couldn’t focus on anything; thoughts of Taco Bell consumed her. She didn’t even _like_ Taco Bell.

“Still craving that quesadilla, huh?” Hunk asked. He was helping Pidge upgrade Green’s stealth system. He was working on the hardware, Pidge was updating the software.

“This is literally the worst thing I have ever experienced. I would _actually_ murder someone for a taco right now.”

“You know, we can go back to Earth. It’s been a while since we last went back anyway.”

“I’m not making everyone go back to Earth just so I can get some shit fast food.”

“You could see your mom again.” Hunk offered.

“Not like this I won’t.” Pidge sat up, gesturing down to her stomach. By six and a half months and a large Galra child there was nothing she could do to hide now. “Imagine that conversation. ‘Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re home. What’s the occasion? Is Earth in danger again?’ ‘No, my rape baby just really wanted some Taco Bell. Still haven’t found Matt or Dad either. Hopefully they’re still alive.’”

“Okay, so we don’t have to visit your family. But we could still go.”

“We are still wanted by the Garrison. They’d grab us as soon as they saw us.”

“So we don’t go home, home, we go somewhere else. Like Ohio, there’s nobody in Ohio.”

“Hunk, the Garrison’s main research labs are in Dayton. They’re crawling all over the state.”

“Oh yeah…" Hunk paused and scratched his temple with the wrench in his hand. "Well that might be the best place to go then. They’d never expect us to just drop right into the middle of their territory.”

Pidge shrugged. “Maybe, I guess, but it doesn’t change the fact that nobody has any money anyways. And it’s not like we could just walk into a bank or up to an ATM. So what’s the point of planning it out?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Pidge looked back up to her computer screen, but it was even harder now to concentrate. After a couple minutes she gave up with a frustrated sigh. “I can’t focus on this right now. I’m going to go take a nap.”

“Okay, I’m going to finish this up.” Hunk waver her off before returning to his work.

 

Pidge’s nap had not been very restful. She had thought briefly that she had felt the ship rock, like it was under attack or going through a portal, but when no alarms rang out she had drifted back to sleep. After that, she just had weird dreams.

After about an hour and a half of weird dreams and waking up, she gave up on trying to nap and wandered onto the bridge. She was half planning on using the more powerful computers on the bridge to resume her decoding of the information they had stolen from the Galra a couple months back. She had still only worked through about half of the information. All this time, all that information, and still no information on Matt or Dad. They had found plenty of other helpful information, but… prisoner manifests had to be in there somewhere!

She had hardly expected anyone else to be on the bridge. There weren’t any missions planned in the near future and they weren’t anywhere near hostile systems – last she checked. But most of the team was there, lounging casually in chairs and leaning against consoles. Hunk and Lance were conspicuously absent. A large gas planet with rings dominated most of the view port. It looked very familiar. Apparently they had moved.

“Where are we?”

Shiro smirked, looking far too amused for her own good. “I would think you would know what Saturn looks like by now, Pidge.”

“Saturn?” Pidge couldn’t be sure if she was still dreaming or not.

Shiro shrugged casually. “Hunk said he needed to make an emergency supply run to Earth. He and Lance left about an hour ago. They should be back soon.”

“Oh, he didn’t!”

“Didn’t what?” Shiro asked, unconvincingly feigning ignorance.

Pidge released an exasperated sigh. “This was unnecessary and reckless, guys. You didn’t have to do this. I would have been fine.”

Shiro broke into a full smile this time. “We _are_ allowed to take care of you on occasion, Pidge. We scrounged what leftover earth money we had floating around and it was enough.”

Pidge dropped into a chair, crossed her arms, and pouted unconvincingly. “I hate all of you.”

Her irritation, however, did not stop her from tearing into the bags of food Lance and Hunk brought back. Nor did it stop the happy tears that pricked in her eyes when _finally_ her cravings were satisfied. And she was only mildly smug when Lance told Allura that they needed to get out of the system fast – the Garrison had caught wind of them on their way off planet, and no doubt they’d be following in due time.

There was more than enough to share. The Earthlings quite enthusiastically got a taste for their home food again - even if it was Taco Bell. The Alteans politely declined, trying not to turn their nose up at the strangely smelling meat.

Pidge did give Hunk a sincere thank you and a hug later.

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Pidge divided her attention between the bridge’s viewport and the scans of the planet below. After years of chasing Matt around the universe from rebellion cell to Galra prison to escape attempts to prison again and always being two steps behind him, they had finally caught up. This time the Galra had placed him in a mining camp. Voltron had gone planet side to extract the prisoners. Coran, Keith, and Shiro were engaging the Galra forces. Hunk was finding the prisoners, Lance was watching his back. Pidge and Allura were taking care of the Galra forces in orbit.

Clearly this was an important installation, because there were _a lot_ of Galra.

“Uh-oh,” Lance’s voice was tight with worry. “Guys the mine’s starting to collapse!”

“Yeah I can see that, I’m currently getting a dirt shower. What are you guys doing up there?” Hunk half-yelled at the airborne paladins.

“This should come as no surprise to you, but the Galra put a lot of effort into making sure their labor force doesn’t escape,” Coran explained.

“We’re trying to keep most of the fighting off the surface,” Shiro added.

“Less talk, more prison breaking!” Pidge snapped. She gripped the edges of her console tightly, swaying slightly as the ship was rocked by Galra fire. One screen pinged softly and one of several green dots blinked out of existence. Her drones were getting demolished out there, but they were taking out a number of ships and drawing fire. Still, she didn’t want to start over from scratch again – she couldn’t until this thing was out of her anyway. She was on strict “no heavy lifting” orders. That included rebuilding and reprogramming drones.  They needed to get this done with quickly, because they were not equipped for a drawn out battle against a regiment of this size. “What’s your position, Hunk?”

“I’m almost to the prisoners. Just a few more tunnels.” There was nothing but Hunk’s breathing for a minute then a triumphant “Ah ha! I found the bunker. Let’s hope your key works, Pidge.”

“Let’s hope Matt’s with them,” Pidge muttered to herself. The ship was rocked by a particularly well placed blast and Pidge’s already precarious sense of balance was compromised. She stumbled a few steps before catching herself on another console, but not before skewering her hip on the corner. She hissed and swore at the blooming pain from her side.

“Pidge I think you should strap yourself in,” Allura cautioned. She watched Pidge limp back to her console, sit in the chair, and slip the safety harness over her shoulders.  “Paladins, you don’t have much time, the particle barrier is weakening and the mines are getting more unstable by the minute. You must get out of there before you’re buried alive.”

The other paladins responded that they understood. Hunk was too busy talking to the prisoners.

“We’re here to rescue you. I’m a Paladin of Voltron. But we have to move quickly, the mines are collapsing.”

“We’re staying here _because_ the mines are collapsing,” a voice protested. “This fortified bunker will protect us. The Galra will retrieve us. Going out there is suicide.”

“Hunk, if they don’t want to come then don’t waste your time.” Keith snapped.

“That bunker is strong, it will protect them,” Allura confirmed, glancing at a scan of the mine.

Pidge tried not to be irritated that Hunk still hadn’t mentioned her brother. She decided to prod him. “Hunk is Matt there?”

“I’m looking for Matt Holt, is he here?” There was a pause, Pidge held her breath. “He’s here Pidge.” Hunk muttered into his microphone. Then speaking louder he addressed the prisoners. “Look there’s not much time. You’ll all be safe here, but if you want a chance at freedom, follow me. Matt you’re coming whether you like it or not.”

Pidge could hear Matt faintly over the comm “I’d rather die free in the tunnels than spend another day as a Galra slave.”

“Yeah, we’re going to hold off on the dying part, but we’ve got to go!” Hunk insisted; another rumble was loud enough to be heard over the comm. “Let’s go!”

“Hurry up Hunk, the entrance is starting to collapse.” Lance warned.

“Do what you can to keep it open, Lance. We’ll be there as soon as possible.” Hunk was already breathing hard, running as fast as he could.

“How many prisoners came with you?” Shiro asked.

“Just Matt. No one else wanted to risk it.”

“Right. Princess how are the shields holding up?”

“They’re holding, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t dawdle.” She pulled up another display for a quick look. “We’re down to our last five drones, and all but two turrets are damaged.”

“Understood. Hunk, what’s your ETA?”

“One, maybe two minutes from my lion.” Suddenly from Hunk’s comm there was a loud rumble, a crash, a shout, and then silence.

“Hunk! Matt!” Pidge shouted. No! They could not get this close to rescuing her brother just to have it end like this. “Matt!” she called again, tears threatening to spill down her face.

A moment of tense silence, and then a cough. “We’re here, Pidge. We’re fine. Just a small cave in behind us.”

“My foot is pinned!” Matt shouted.

“Oh, hold on!” Pidge heart Hunk grunt with effort, and the sound of large rocks moving. “Is it broken?”  Matt cried out in pain. “Oh, yeah, you can’t walk. Come on, lean on me, we’re almost to my lion.”

“Hunk, what’s going on?” Pidge asked her voice tight with worry.

“”We’re okay Pidge. Matt just hurt his foot.”

“Pidge?” she heard Matt ask. “Pidge Gunderson? What’s he doing here? I went to grade school with that kid!”

“Well actually-“ Hunk began, but Pidge interrupted him quickly.

“Don’t correct him now, Hunk! Get out of there!”

“Right, we’ll introduce you later.” Hunk explained before taking off again, carrying Matt. A tense minute passed while the rest of the team waited to hear of Hunk’s escape from the doomed mines. “I see the entrance. Lance, stop the freeze ray! You’ll hit us.”

“I see them, they’re clear of the tunnels!” Lance announced. Then a few seconds later “And they’re in the yellow lion.”

“Good, let’s get out of here.” Shiro commanded.

Pidge slumped back in her chair. They had done it. Matt was free. Matt was safe. Her brother… she had her brother back. Finally.

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Matt had taken to wandering the halls of the castle. He had been assured that all the homicidal tendencies had been weeded out of the system, and it gave him something to do while the other Paladins were busy with their work. His foot had been healed up in no time - those Altean pods were really amazing. It had been three days since his rescue and he met everyone on Team Voltron.

Everyone except the elusive Pidge Gunderson.

According to the others, Pidge had masterminded his rescue. Matt was extremely grateful. He had, quite frankly, completely forgotten about his old school mate, and had no idea he had become as important as to be working with the Paladins of Voltron. He wondered what he had done to be so memorable to Gunderson to deserve a personal rescue from the claws of the Galra. They had been childhood friends; they both were invited to the other’s birthday parties, and sleepovers, and the like. But they had fallen into different friend groups in middle school.

He would have understood if it had been Shiro’s idea… but Gunderson’s? Why?

Whenever he asked about Pidge, the other Paladins got cagey, and became unwilling to talk much about him. They said Pidge would find him when the time was right.

As Matt wandered down what looked to be another residential hall he saw a small swath of light cutting into the mostly dark corridor – an open door. Matt crept closer, no wanting to surprise anyone in their room, but also curious. As he got closer he heard low voices. A deep voice, it sounded like Shiro, and a higher voice, a girl’s voice. He must have been homesick because the girl sounded kind of like Katie. He stopped outside the door, feeling guilty for eavesdropping, but deadly curious as to whom this other girl was. As far as he knew, Allura was the only girl on the ship.

Was it another rescued prisoner? A captured enemy? He held his breath and listened carefully.

“You can’t avoid him forever. The castle is only so big,” Shiro spoke gently, reasonably.

The girl sniffed, her voice was shaky as if she had been crying. “I know, I just can’t… I can’t face him like this.”

“He’s going to start looking for you, Pidge. He wants to see you. Wouldn’t you rather do it on your own terms than him just running into you?”

Matt blinked; this clearly was not the same Pidge Gunderson he had gone to grade school with. At least… as far as he knew. He hadn’t seen Gunderson since their eighth grade graduation.

“I know… I’m just afraid. I don’t know what he’ll say or do.”

Matt furrowed his brow… this Pidge sounded a lot like Katie. Maybe it wasn’t his old schoolmate. How many Pidge Gunderson’s were out there in the universe?

“What do you think he would do, Pidge? He’s your brother.”

It hit Matt like a ton of bricks. Pidge _was_ Katie. What was she doing here? Why was she going under the name Pidge? He wanted to barge right into the room and sweep his sister up in a hug. But the tone of the conversation kept him rooted outside the door. Why didn’t Katie want to see him? Why was she afraid of him?

“I don’t know what he’d do. That’s the problem.” Katie moaned. Matt could almost picture her dropping her head into her hands, like she always did.

“Pidge, you spent _years_ looking for Matt. You kept searching for him when everyone else stopped looking back home, and you’ve chased after him all across the galaxy. After all this time and all that effort… you need to see him Pidge.”

“I know!” Katie snapped. “I want to see him, so bad!” She breathed in and it sounded like a sob. “But when I started looking for him, when I knew Voltron was going to help me find him I never…” she broke off and sobbed again. “I wasn’t supposed to have been raped. I wasn’t supposed to be pregnant!” Katie broke off, breathing in a few more wretched sobs. “How am I supposed to explain it to him? How am I supposed to tell him what the Galra did to me?”

Outside in the hall, Matt had his hand pressed tightly to his mouth, tears trickled down his cheeks. Katie… Oh god, Katie! He felt sick, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t make a sound. All he could do was stand there against the wall and listen to his baby sister cry.

“You know what your father says: ‘If you spend all your time thinking about what could go wrong…’”

“I don’t think I’m missing any great opportunities at the moment, Shiro.”

“No, you’re just missing time with your brother. If it would be easier for you, someone else can tell him.” Shiro told her gently. “I can tell him.”

Katie sniffed again. “No, please, I want to be the one to tell him. I just… I just need more time.”

“I understand, Pidge. But you need to tell him soon, otherwise he’s going to find out on his own.”

“I will,” Katie muttered quietly.

Matt heard Shiro get to his feet and approach the door. He waited until the paladin had cleared the door, then as soon as he was within arm’s reach he lashed out, grabbed Shiro by the collar and pulled him away from Katie’s room. Shiro barely made a surprised sound as Matt dragged him far out of earshot. “Why didn’t you tell me Katie was Pidge?” he shouted, slamming Shiro into a wall. “Why didn’t you tell me you had my sister here?”

Shiro let Matt push him around, understanding the flurry of emotions pouring out of his friend. Rage, fear, hopelessness – he had only barely conquered his own. Fighting Matt wouldn’t help anything. “She didn’t want us to tell you.”

“Bull shit! So what? She’s my sister. I had a right to know!”

“Matt,” Shiro reasoned calmly. “Katie has had a lot of things taken from her control recently. I’m not about to take anything else from her.”

Matt released his hold on Shiro, stepped back and pressed a hand to his eyes, trying to stem his tears. “Is she really… did the Galra really…?” he couldn’t even finish the question. The thought alone was enough to make him sick.

“You heard?”

“Everything!” Matt stepped farther back until he hit the wall. With a moan he slid down it, resting his arms on his knees and burying his head. “How long?”

Shiro sat next to Matt. “Seven months, three weeks, four days.”

“Goddamn, and you made her keep it!” Matt snapped again.

“She didn’t have a choice…” Shiro stated solemnly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“A Galra fetus is parasitic. Until it’s born it is completely attached to the mother. If it dies, she dies.”

Matt swore fluently for a few seconds - using more than one curse that was not from Earth- trying to process the information. “How could you let this happen to her?” He asked darkly. “You’re one of the Paladins of Voltron! How could you let the Galra get their hands on her?”

Shiro’s jaw tightened. “That’s not my story to tell, Matt.”

“Damnit, just tell me, Shiro! You at least owe me that!”

“You’re right.” Shiro drew in a deliberate, slow breath. “Pidge – Katie is the Green Paladin. Coran is just flying temporarily until she’s in a let delicate condition. We were ambushed by a Galra fleet, Voltron responded as expected. They hit the Green Lion with a weapon we hadn’t seen before. It disabled the lion and forcibly ejected Pidge into the hands of the Galra. A couple of Galra officers got to her before we could.”

“Who was it?” Matt’s voice shook with rage. “Who was it? Are they still out there?”

“They have been dealt with.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. You’d have to ask her or get Lance of Keith to tell the story. All I know is they disappeared for a few days. When they came back they didn’t say anything other than the Galra had been dealt with. Most likely, Pidge got her revenge.”

“Katie doesn’t have a vengeful bone in her body…” Matt stated weakly.

“Katie might not have. Pidge does.” Shiro got back to his feet. He held out his hand for Matt and pulled his friend to his feet. “A lot has changed since Kerberos, Matt. Katie changed a lot even before the Galra. She’s not your baby sister anymore.”

 

Matthew Holt was on a mission. He was going to find his sister; even if he had to scour every inch of the castle ship. He was going to find Katie. Shiro had warned him that she may still try and hide from him. She had eyes everywhere in the castle it seemed. He wouldn’t tell Matt where she liked to hide, but he didn’t try and stop him either.

Matt had spent the entire morning searching, and he thought he had finally caught onto Katie’s trail. He was catching up to her. Katie did have a pattern to the paths she took to avoid him, and he had found her cameras. He finally figured out where he could go where she wouldn’t see him cut her off.

He had planned to bump into her as she rounded a corner. His timing was a bit off. He rounded the corner but she was still a few yards down the hall. She gasped, and turned quickly to run away.

“Katie wait!” Matt called after her, rushing to catch her. It wasn’t hard, she wasn’t moving very fast anymore. Matt caught her shoulder. She stopped but didn’t turn around. He paused for a moment, trying to think of the right words. “Why did you pick Pidge Gunderson?” he finally asked.

Katie sighed. “The Garrison stopped looking for you. I broke in once to get their files, they knew me as Katie Holt. I needed to get back in though. I had to find you. Pidge was the only name I could think of."

Matt stepped around in front of his sister. He looked down at her, trying to ignore the tight, round bulge pulling at her oversized black t-shirt, and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you for finding me. I knew you’d never give up trying to find me or Dad. I had no idea you’d go so far as to joining Voltron just to find me.”

“Joining Voltron wasn’t really a choice. But it certainly helped.” Katie pressed her face into Matt’s chest as she hugged him tighter. “I missed you, Matt.”

Matt stepped back, and smiled sadly at his sister. “I overheard you talking to Shiro last night, Katie. I… I think we have a lot to talk about.”

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

It was really nice to have everyone eating together again. With Pidge dodging Matt and everyone else trying to dodge Matt’s questions about Pidge, team dinner had fallen a bit to the wayside in the past week.

Coran hid a warm smile behind his folded hands. These Paladins, the humans were so closely knit they were more like a family than a team. Perhaps it had something to do with humans being highly - bordering on ridiculous - social creatures, but he knew these Paladins were more closely bonded than the original Paladins had ever been. Sure there had been bumps and snags along the way, but they always seemed to come out stronger in the end – even when the challenges seemed insurmountable.

He was brought out of his thoughts as a wave of laughter went around the table. Matt and Pidge had been telling tales most of the evening. Matt in particular had plenty of tales to tell about Shiro from their Garrison days – much to the chagrin of the Black Paladin. Then again, Shiro had an equal number of tales to tell about Matt. And the sibling teasing between Matt and Pidge was on a whole different level.

Pidge had just finished telling a story about Matt on one of the human’s gift giving holidays – he had lost track of how many they had; every time he asked they seemed to add another one. Her brother’s cheeks were flushed as he took a drink, waiting for the laughter to dispel.  He laughed along, but much less enthusiastically, and when he met his sister’s eyes from across the table there was a wicked gleam in them.

He had a good story to tell. Coran straightened in his seat, eager to listen.

“If you’re going to bring that up, maybe I should tell them about that one time when you were eleven…” he threatened.

The smile immediately fell from Pidge’s face. Her eyes widened in horror or perhaps embarrassment. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Matt smirked and took another drink. He was waiting for someone to take the bait.

Lance chuckled from Pidge’s left side. “Now I have to know. What happened?”

 “If you want to live to see tomorrow, Lance…” Pidge pointed threateningly at him.

“Oh come on! I haven’t had a chance to antagonize one of my siblings in forever. I’m living vicariously; I have to stir the pot.”

By this point, everyone was deathly curious. Pidge’s face was already flushing with embarrassment just at the memory.

“Oh it’s got to be good,” Lance declared, noting Pidge’s reaction. “Come on, Matt, tell us.”

Matt took one more drink before he opened his mouth to speak.

Pidge wasn’t about to let him get a word in. “Matthew Holt, I know where you sleep at night!” She shouted, springing to her feet. “I know where you all sleep! And I have a legion of robots at my command.” She pointed around the table with her threatening finger. “So you best reconsider your-“

Pidge didn’t finish her sentence. There was a collective, terrified gasp as all the Paladins registered what was happening too slowly. Pidge wavered unsteadily, her hands dropped to the table for support, but her knees buckled before she could get a grip.

“Pidge!” “Katie!”

Lance tried to grab her, but he was too slow. Cups and plates went spilling across the table, her chair fell back onto the floor with a clatter. She hit the floor fully unconscious. Lance scrambled down her, the others weren’t far behind.

“What happened?” “Did she stand up too fast?”

Coran was second to get to her. He knelt beside Lance. The Blue Paladin was checking for Pidge’s pulse.

“She’s still breathing, pulse is weak.” He informed the others. He gave Pidge a gentle shake, calling her name. She didn’t respond.

“Well take her to med bay.” Coran was already scooping the unconscious Paladin out of Lance’s arms. Several arms helped lift him off the floor. He looked around to the others as he took off. They all had the same horrified expression and he knew they were all thinking the same thing.

Seven and a half months was not long enough.

Pidge hadn’t regained consciousness by the time they got to the infirmary. He laid her gently on a table while Allura activated the scanner. It showed no internal damage. Her vitals were still weak though, but not critical. A small, secondary window displayed the baby’s vitals too. They were still quite strong. Coran decided not to voice this to the other Paladins.

“Pregnancy can really mess up a woman’s blood pressure,” Matt began explaining in a shaky voice. “M-maybe she just stood up too fast and it tanked.”

“Maybe she’ll wake up in a minute,” Hunk offered weakly, giving Matt’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

That’s what they all hoped.

Pidge didn’t stir.

“We should elevate her feet. That’s supposed to help.” Matt began looking around and digging through cabinets. He found a small storage crate and slid it under his sister’s feet.

Still, there was no change.

 “Should we put her in a pod?” Keith asked.

Allura shook her head. “The cryo pods aren’t safe for pregnant people. I’d only put her in one if it was a critical emergency.”

Shiro had his arms crossed tightly, he looked pale. “We should find a doctor.”

“Almrax. He would know what to do.” Allura confirmed, turning to Shiro. “But would he come?”

“He’s not going to have a choice. Open a Teleduv. Tell us where to find him. Keith Lance, Hunk, suit up. Red’s fastest, we’ll go planet side in her, grab Almrax, and be back in no time.”

“What about me?” Matt asked, desperate to help his sister.

“Stay here, watch Katie. Coran, you too. The two of you know the most about medical stuff.” Shiro was already running for the door with the others

“That’s not a lot!” Matt called after him.

“I know!”

Coran gripped the young human’s shoulder reassuringly. “We’ll watch her vitals. Let them know if she wakes up.”

Matt nodded mutely and took his sister’s hand into his own. Coran moved back to the scanner display and watched Pidge’s status. Matt bowed his head, bringing their hands up to his forehead. Coran pretend to not notice the way his body shook with silent sobs.

Years of separation. Years as a Galra slave. Years believing that he was never going to see his family again. And then finally he had his sister back for a few happy hours. And then this.

He was afraid for Pidge too, but he knew it couldn’t compare to the young man.

The castle shuddered as it passed through the teleduv. Coran began counting the time. Allura was back in the infirmary and hovering at Pidge’s bedside two minutes after the castle moved. Fifteen minutes later the Paladins were back, dragging a rather tall, blindfolded person in with them. Coran assumed this was Almrax and he was quite confused as to why he was blindfolded.

Pidge hadn’t changed at all. Matt was still holding her hand.

Lance pulled the hood off the doctor’s head. Coran hadn’t realized Almrax was Galra… that explained the blindfold.

The doctor looked decidedly unhappy, ears pulled back and low. He snarled at the Paladins, readying a sharp retort before he caught sight of Pidge and Allura. He swore softly and crossed the room. “How long has she been like this?”

Matt straightened up, looking defensive. Allura was quick to step in, laying a hand on his arms. “It’s alright, Matt. He’s the doctor.” Matt conceded and stepped away. “She stood up, and then just collapsed. It’s maybe been half an hour.”

“Has she regained consciousness at all?”

“No.” Coran affirmed. “Her vitals haven’t changed either.”

Almrax moved the box from under her feet and gently rolled Pidge onto her side; propping her up with her own knee and arm. Coran saw her vitals begin to approve. “She’ll be around in a minute.”

They waited with bated breath, counting the seconds. Finally, Pidge’s eyes fluttered open, and she took a deeper breath.

“What happened?” she slurred, trying to move.

Everyone breathed in relief.

Almrax held her shoulder, keeping her still. “Stay down, you collapsed.”

“What? How?”

“Too much pressure on your circulatory system. You’ll be fine.”

“It’s not gonna kill me?”

“Not this time.”

Coran thought he heard Pidge mutter something that sounded a bit like “too bad,” but Almrax didn’t respond to it, so he let it slide. She was probably joking anyway; the Paladins had developed something of a grim sense of humor over the years.

The doctor patted Pidge’s shoulder reassuringly. “Just lie still for a bit.” He turned away from Pidge and motioned the hovering Paladins across the room. “Has this happened before?” he asked, eyes looking around the gathered faces. A few of them were distrustful. They were all worried.

“No, this is the first she’s shown any sign of weakness like this,” Allura confirmed.

“And you’ve followed my instructions? No fights, no battles, no undue stress?”

“As best as we can.”

“Good.” Almrax nodded and look relieved.

“Will she be alright?”

“She should be. I need to perform a full exam to be sure.”

Coran realized what the doctor was saying – he needed the room cleared. For Pidge’s comfort and privacy, it made sense. Allura, Shiro, and Keith picked up on it as well. They didn’t like it, but they understood. The others were only half paying attention to Almrax anyway, their eyes locked on Pidge’s still form. The Green Paladin was still lying on her side, head resting on her arm, eyes half-closed, breathing evenly. She could have been asleep if she didn’t look so deathly pale.

“We’ll be right outside,” Allura told Almrax. She placed a gentle hand on Hunk’s shoulder and turned him to the door.

The others followed suit. Only Matt protested, throwing off Shiro’s guiding arm. “Wait, I’m not going anywhere! She’s my sister. I’m not leaving her alone with a Galra!”

If Almrax was offended by Matt’s outburst, he didn’t show it. He just met Matt’s eyes with the same gentle, almost sorrowful stare.

“What’s going on?” Pidge’s voice called weakly from across the room.

“Nothing, Pidge,” Shiro grabbed Matt’s shoulder again. “We’re just leaving so you can get an exam.”

“Oh. It’s alright, Matt. Almrax is okay.”

Matt still looked unconvinced, but he reluctantly let Shiro lead him out of the infirmary.

Coran was the last to exit, ushering the rest of the Paladins out with their varying degrees of reluctance. They all gathered just outside the door. Some took to pacing; others sank down to the floor or leaned against the wall. Minutes passed excruciatingly slow. The Paladins swapped their positions from pacers to leaners to sitters. Finally, after about half an hour, the doors slid open and Almrax stepped out.

“She will be fine,” he announce before anyone could ask. “But she must go on strict bed rest, effective immediately.”

“Bed rest?” “Why?” “So she’s not really okay then?”

Almrax waited for the questions to die down before he spoke again. “There’s too much strain on her circulatory system. The risk of another spell like this is too great, and next time it could cause harm. If she had to walk more than twenty yards for something, it’s too far.”

“We understand.” Allura spoke for the team. Nods echoed her statement.

Almrax half smiled. “Good, otherwise, she’s in good health. I don’t see any foreseeable health risks, but you know where to find me if anything crops up. Next time, though, you can just ask. You don’t have to kidnap me from my bed.”

There was a scattering of sheepish grins and nervous laughter as the kidnapping team looked away from Almrax.

“I can get you an encrypted communicator,” Coran offered. “You’ll at least have a heads up before we drop in next time.”

“That would be appreciated,” Almrax said dryly. “I understand that it was an emergency this time, but I have other patients and I can’t leave them without care for a long period of time.”

“We do apologize for your rather… abrupt summons, Almrax.” Allura spoke for the team again. “Is there anything else you need to do for Pidge? If not we can get you a communicator and have you back home soon.”

“I recommend she spends a few more hours resting before you move her. Monitor her vitals, make sure she doesn’t crash. And again, I must emphasize, _strict_ bed rest. She seemed less than pleased when I told her.”

“She wouldn’t be happy,” Matt commented. “Katie’s never been one to sit around and do nothing for very long.”

“Don’t worry, Doc, we’ll keep an eye on her. We promise to cut her down to one deadly space battle a week now.” Lance cut in with a forced grin. Coran knew he was trying to lighten the mood, ease everyone’s frayed nerves, but nobody was quite ready to join in.

An awkward silence fell over the remaining group. Everyone wanted to go back and check in on Pidge, but someone had to follow Allura and escort Almrax back. Matt probably deserved a private moment with his sister now that she was conscious.

“I’ll go scare up a communicator,” Coran volunteered. “Hunk, can you help me calibrate the encryption.”

The yellow paladin shrugged. “Encryptions are more of Pidge’s thing,” he glanced over to Matt’s pale face, and his shaking hands, “but it’s worth a shot.”

Coran nodded and looked to the other Paladins. They hadn’t quite seemed to catch on, and were all focused on the closed infirmary doors. He knew Shiro would escort Allura and Almrax. That just left Keith and Lance.

“Red is fastest, Keith you should take Almrax back. Lance should go with him for back up in case you draw any unwanted attention.”

The Paladins agreed absently.

Coran clapped a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Watch over Pidge. We’ll be back soon.”

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Pidge _hated_ bed rest.

She was quite convinced that it was originally devised as a punishment rather than a treatment.

It had only been a week and she had already dismantled, reassembled, reprogrammed, and debugged every piece of tech she had in her room. Well… her new room. It had taken less than a day to decide the Pidge needed to move so she wouldn’t need an escort every time she had to go to the bathroom – at least she could still do _that_ by herself. They had even moved the Mercury Gameflux into her room. She’d already beaten _Killbot Phantasm I_ in one run.

She was _so bored_.

The others had been trying to help alleviate her boredom. There was almost a routine to the times they came to visit her. Hunk could be relied on to bring at least one meal per day – someone else tended to bring the other two. Keith rarely came to visit alone; he was either with Lance or Shiro, sometimes Hunk. Allura and Coran came to chat too. Coran had no shortage of vastly embellished stories to share to keep her entertained. But nobody could ever really stay for long. She couldn’t blame them for their short trips. Voltron had work to do. It’s not like the universe was going to stop having trouble just because she was pregnant.

Matt had been a near constant companion the first few days. Pidge was certain it was an even blend of wanting to spend as much time with his sister as possible after their separation and fear that something might happen if she was left alone.

Even then… siblings could only happily coexist in a ten by ten foot room for so long before Pidge had to lock Matt out for a day.

The potential emergency situation had been fixed rather quickly. Hunk repurposed some old communicators he found in storage – even by Coran’s standard, they were old tech. It was simple enough. Pidge had one end with a call button. The others took turns holding onto the other one. An alarm went off on the receiving end if Pidge called. When Hunk explained that they were kind of like walkie-talkies the Alteans laughed at such a ridiculous name – particularly considering that Pidge could not talk through the communicator yet. Hunk was still fixing that part, but had gotten sidetracked with another project. But the call button worked and it was always within arm’s reach of Pidge’s bed.

Pidge was unamused when the others began referring to carrying the communicator as being on 'Pidge Duty.' As if she didn’t already feel like a useless burden and strain on the team.

Pidge sighed and slid her laptop away. There was only so much staring she could do at Galra code before even she got tired of it. Her head fell back against the wall as her hands pulled aimlessly at her sheets. Maybe she could try for a speed run of _Killbot_ to while away the rest of the afternoon. She cracked her eyes open when a soft knock fell on her door frame.

“What is it, Hunk?”

The engineer looked far too pleased, bouncing in her doorway, hands held behind his back. He looked like he had a great surprise. Pidge was confused, because as of late, Hunk’s surprises have been whatever substitute he could whip up for her cravings. It wasn’t anywhere close to a meal time and she was well stocked on snacks and water – thanks to _everyone_ bringing her something when they came to visit. Pidge would have laughed, as it was kind of like they were bringing her tribute and she was some ancient goddess. Except being pampered made her uncomfortable, and she was sick to death of being stuck in her room. Her mood was so foul, she wasn’t even sure Hunk’s bright smile could make her feel better at the moment.

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Unless it’s an antigravity chair, I don’t want it.”

“Well actually, you’re not too far off.” Hunk pulled his arms around and held out a small, hand-sized device. “Ta-dah!”

Pidge looked at the device. It was round, disc-shaped, about eight inches in diameter and a couple inches thick. There was a thumb-sized button in the center. It looked quite innocuous and gave no hints of its function. “What is it?”

“It’s a gravity disruptor!” He pressed the disc into Pidge’s hands. “Press the button.”

Pidge shot him a curious look, but obliged to his command. Immediately, she felt the familiar churning, lifting sensation in her stomach. It didn’t take long for the weightless sensation to spread to the rest of her body. She looked around and found herself hovering several inches off her bed. All of the pressure and discomfort was lifted aw well. She hadn’t felt this comfortable in months! Her eyes brightened and a wide smile split her face.

“This is amazing, Hunk! How did you do it?” She looked up at her fellow Paladin. He was also floating, but kept one hand anchoring him on the door frame. His wide grin matched hers.

“So it turns out that the ship is so big that it has to rely on several smaller gravity generators. Which is why we were floating around Green’s hangar and nobody else was that one time the castle tried to kill us. Once I realized that, it was a simple matter of figuring out how exactly to disrupt the gravity generators for a concentrated area.” He pushed himself away to the far end of the room, landing lightly on his feet about half way there. “You only get about a five foot radius, but it keeps you off your feet and the pressure off your circulatory.”

Pidge felt like she could cry tears of joy. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

“You’re not stuck in your room! Though, it only works while the ship’s gravity generators are on. So you’re back to bed rest when we’re on a planet, but otherwise you’re almost back to normal.”

Pidge blinked, and realized she was actually crying. She hastily wiped away the evidence. “I could kiss you right now, Hunk. I’m not trapped in here anymore.”

“It won’t last forever. I haven’t tested its full life, but the disruption field gets weaker after about an hour.”

“I can still move from room to room, though. That’s all that really matters.” Pidge looked up at her friend and gave him another warm smile. She pushed herself back closer to her bed and pressed the button. The field dissipated and she was gently lowered the last few inches. “Now come here, I need to hug you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooolyyyy crap. This fic has over a thousand hits!  
> (I find it nothing short of ironic that my anonymous fic is easily one of my most popular fics)
> 
> Anywho. So sorry for the long delay between chapters. I somehow ended up getting unusually busy last month and before I knew it, April was over. Plus my muse up and walked out on me when I was like 80% done with this fic, but I dragged it back in time to finish this chapter.
> 
> We're down to really the last full chapter. After this,there's going to be a short epilogue sort of thing, but this is pretty much the end. Funny enough, I think it ended up being my longest chapter too. There was a lot I wanted to cover, but I didn't want to break it up. Y'all like long chapters, right?
> 
> Huge thanks to every one for reading, and sticking through to the end with me. Thanks for all the comments! And for leaving Kudos! You guys really helped me power through this little idea that kind of attacked me out of nowhere.  
> I hope you like the almost ending.
> 
> And FAIR WARNING: this chapter will have come mild gore/body horror stuff. It probably really depends on how squeamish you are. I'm not squeamish at all about blood and human body stuff, so like this was nothing for me to write, but that's me... I just don't want to catch anyone off guard. The parts are pretty obvious leading up to them so if you've gotta skim over the squicky bits, hopefully it won't catch you by surprise.

**Chapter 5**

 

Pidge snapped awake, and sat up with a sharp gasp. Heart pounding, hands shaking, she reached for the light. A brief search of her room eased her fears. Nobody was looming over her in the dark. She heaved a sigh and dropped back onto her pillows. It had been weeks since she’d had a nightmare about the Galra. Why did she still have to keep reliving that day?

She glared at the ceiling, wondering if it would be worth trying to fall asleep so soon after the nightmare. Then the parasite shifted, kicking her in the ribs, and reminding her of her ever present problem. Pidge sat up and swung her legs over the edge of her bed. So long as she was awake, she might as well pee. She took a moment, trying to gather the strength and motivation to haul herself out of bed and down the hall.

Suddenly, a warm, wet sensation spread across her lap. Pidge had a brief, horrifying moment thinking that she had actually wet herself, but when the pressure in her bladder did not ease, she realized what had truly happened.

Her water broke.

Pidge tried to quell her growing wave of panic. She had only made it to thirty-six weeks… almost thirty-seven. That wasn’t full term, even for a human pregnancy, and Almrax had said that Galra tended to gestate longer. If the placenta hadn’t fully detached… but Almrax had said there were signs of the attachments degrading when he put her on bed rest. Maybe the time was right, maybe it was ready. Maybe this wouldn’t kill her. Oh god, it was going to hurt though…

Pidge shook herself; this kind of thinking wasn’t helping. She reached over and fumbled with the items on her bedside area. She knocked over the ever present pouch of water, sent the gravity disruptor skittering across her tablet, and finally grabbed hold of her communicator. She jammed the call button several times; hoping whoever was on the other end would realize her urgency.

She closed her eyes, and leaned her head back against the wall. She tried to return her breathing back to normal, but she was tense and anxiously awaiting the first contraction. They were supposed to start soon weren’t they? Aside from everything else, the only new discomfort she was aware of was a tight ache in her lower back. That had started yesterday.

She hoped whoever was on ‘Pidge Duty’ tonight was one of the cooler heads of the team. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold herself together if Matt or Hunk started freaking out. She opened her eyes again and glared at the communicator. Whoever it was, though, they were taking their damn sweet time getting here. She pressed the call button again – only once this time – and hoped that someone hadn’t left the other end of the device sitting somewhere where it couldn’t be heard.

Well… broken water or not, she still had to pee. With a heavy sigh, Pidge pulled herself out of bed and began the unsteady walk to the bathroom. Though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, she was really glad the other Paladins had insisted she move rooms closer to the bathroom once Almrax had put her on bed rest. At least she didn’t have to call for help the 500 times a day she had to go.

She half expected to find someone hovering outside her door anxiously when she got out of the bathroom. She was quite annoyed to find the hall and her room empty. It had been several minutes now, and the castle was only so big. Where the hell was everyone?

Back in her room, she snatched up her gravity disruptor and flicked it on. Nothing… that meant they were on a planet. Was Voltron on a mission? Why hadn’t they told her? And if Voltron was out, why didn’t Matt or Allura answer her call? Her brow knit together in worry and irritation. It didn’t sound like they were under attack, and Allura wouldn’t land the ship if there were hostiles nearby.

Whatever was going on, she wasn’t going to sit and wait for the others to pay attention. She wasn’t _too_ far from the bridge. It was farther than Almrax had said she could walk on her own, but this was an emergency so…

Pidge tossed the gravity disruptor onto her bed and headed out the door. She kept one hand on the wall, just in case, and began the long walk to the bridge.

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Lance’s eyes shifted around the clearing uneasily.

This planet was _not_ a good place.

Dense temperate forest pressed in all around, the atmosphere was humming with millions of insect noises and god knew what other creature’s sounds. The local carnivores had already made an appearance once. They were huge, frightening creatures that looked a bit like eight foot tall, tailless, featherless raptors – their skin an acidic green, talons incredibly deadly, sharp spines running down their backs, venomous saliva dripping off six inch fangs. The best word to describe them was monsters. And even worse, they were pack hunters. Their weapons had chased off the pack once already, but Lance had a feeling they’d be back sooner rather than later.

It certainly was not a planet you wanted to be stranded on.

Lance found it nothing short of a miracle that the research team that had crashed here eight solar cycles ago – by this planet’s rotation – was still mostly alive. The ten-person crew had only lost two to the predators. The rest had holed up in the ship to wait for rescue.

The monsters had spent the last several days tearing at the ship’s hull. It had survived with only surface damage, but the already vulnerable and broken engines hadn’t been so lucky. Without the spare parts and supplies Team Voltron provided, Lance knew the research team would never make it off the planet again.

His eyes scanned the tree line and thick underbrush, trying to distinguish the differences between the wind rustling the leaves, small fauna leaping from branch to branch, and the predator’s sneaking back for another attack. He took stock of all the others too for good measure.

Hunk and Coran were helping the research team’s engineer salvage something flyable out of the engines. Allura was talking with the captain. Shiro and Matt were helping with the supply exchange and first aid where needed. He and Keith were on guard duty. Things were actually going pretty well. Barring any more raptor attacks, and the mechanics all working out, they could all be off this planet in another hour or two.

Lance relaxed a fraction, not enough to drop his gun or put his bayard away, but he wasn’t on edge expecting everyone to die a horrible death at the claws of some space raptors. He was particularly happy that the castle’s particle barrier was up now that they had stopped going in and out of the ship. The last thing they needed was one of those monsters getting inside the castle.

“Uh-oh.”

Lance immediately snapped back to attention, sweeping the forest for whatever threat had made Hunk stiffen and pause his work.

“Guys, my Pidge Senses are tingling. A lot. She just smashed the button like ten times.”

There was a crash as Matt knocked over the box of medical supplies he was digging through. A collective stillness fell over Team Voltron, earning several confused stares from the researchers. If Pidge was calling that much, something must be wrong.

“I’ll go check on her.” Lance immediately volunteered. He was closest to the castle anyway. His bayard immediately phased back into its subspace pocket as he took off at a jog.

It was the middle of the ship’s night cycle; they had decided it was a wise choice to just let Pidge sleep. She had such little energy nowadays. It was a good thing Hunk had remembered to bring the communicator with him, because most of the others – himself included – probably would have forgotten it in the mission rush.

He hit the castle’s foyer and Hunk informed him that Pidge had pressed the button again. Lance picked up the pace. It might just be a false alarm, Pidge might have just grabbed her communicator in her sleep and was lying on the button, or something was wrong and she needed help. Either way, the sooner he knew the better.

The elevator moved far too slowly for his tastes, and when it finally opened on the residential floor he took off at a sprint for Pidge’s room. He slid around a corner and saw Pidge at the end of the hall, walking slowly, one hand trailing on the wall, eyes focused on the floor.

He called after her, pulled off his helmet, and slowed to a jog. She looked up, relief spreading across her face. It was immediately overshadowed by a pained grimace. Pidge gasped sharply and fell to her knees.

“Oh shit!” Lance whispered, skidding to a stop beside Pidge. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and let her lean against him. “It’s alright, Pidge, just breathe through it.”

Pidge panted shallowly and dug her nails into her palms for a long ten seconds. When it finally passed, she breathed easier again, and slumped against Lance.

“Where is everyone?” she gasped weakly.

“Outside. There’s a ship that needed rescue. I came as soon as you called.”

“How far away were you? It took forever!” she snapped, the strength returning to her voice and limbs. She struggled to get back to her feet. Lance practically lifted her off the floor.

“Just a few minutes. It’s a big ship.”

“Oh… it felt like longer.”

“What happened, Pidge?”

“My water broke… and I guess now I’m having contractions.” She put a shaking hand over her eyes, wiping across her eyelids slowly to pinch the bridge of her nose. “We’ll have to tell the others.”

“I’m taking you to the infirmary first. Then I’ll let the others know what’s going on.” Lance kept his arms around Pidge, supporting her and steering her down the hall and to the elevator.

They walked slowly. Pidge’s footsteps were hesitant, as if she was expecting more pain to come at any moment. Lance bit his lip, wondering whether it would be encouraging or detrimental to tell her she had plenty of time. If his sisters were anything to go by, labor was a slow process. It wasn’t like the movies where a woman had one contraction and a few minutes of huffing a puffing later there was a brand spanking new baby. Hell, his oldest sister had been in labor for twenty-eight hours with her first.

He kept that information to himself for the time being. Pidge didn’t need the extra stress.

They finally made it to the infirmary and Lance helped Pidge ease herself onto one of the tables. “Just relax, Pidge. I’ll let the others know what’s going on.”

She nodded, still gripping the edge of the table tightly, tensed in anticipation for more pain.

Lance stepped to the other side of the room and slipped his helmet on. “Everyone still there?”

Shiro responded immediately. His voice was strained with worry. “What’s going on, Lance?”

“Well, Pidge’s water broke and she’s gone into labor.”

 

Shiro heard the collective gasp that traveled around Team Voltron. Pidge was in labor? This was not good. Definitely not good!

“Now?!” Matt yelled back, panic clear in his voice.

Shiro could almost head Lance rolling his eyes. “Well, I’m not about to check up her skirt, but she’s only had one contraction, so I doubt she’s anywhere close to delivering. We’ve got time. You all don’t have to rush in.”

“Stay with her, Lance. Let us know if anything changes. We need to wrap up out here.” Shiro turned to Matt, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We should have things covered, Matt. If you want, you can go see Pidge.”

Matt looked pale and shaken. He nodded and stood up on unsteady feet, but he ran back to the castle at a dead sprint.

“I’m sorry, is something wrong?” the captain of the research expedition asked.

Shiro walked over, offering a tight, apologetic smile. “Sorry, we just have a small medical emergency with one of our teammates.”

Concern crossed the captain’s face. “Is there anything we can do to help?” they gestured over to another crew member. “Br’en is out xenobiologist. They may be able to provide assistance.”

Br’en looked equally concerned. “I don’t have much medical training, but I would like to help if I can.”

“Unless you know how to deliver a baby, I’m not sure how much you can help.” Shiro explained, trying to calm down.

 The xenobiologist shook their head helplessly. “Sorry, we aren’t a viviparous species. I would not know how to tend to a live birth.”

Shiro felt a brief moment of panic. Would they have the time to finish repairs on the researcher’s ship and get to Almrax before Pidge delivered the baby? He had no experience with this sort of thing. How much time did they have?

“That’s alright,” Allura assured them, stepping in. “We have a doctor we can contact. But our first priority is making sure you can get off this planet and to safety.”

 Shiro looked over to Hunk and the engineer. Despite their current pause, they were making good progress on the engine repairs, but they would still take time to complete. “Maybe it would be better if we just brought you onto our ship and took you to safety,” he suggested to the captain.

The captain squared their shoulders. “The data we have collected has come at a great loss to us. It would disrespect our lost crew to abandon our research.” They softened and looked around. “However, I can appreciate the dilemma you are facing. You have provided us with plenty of supplies to complete our repairs and get to safety. If you are facing an emergency, we can complete repairs on our own. You should take care of your teammates.”

Allura looked to Shiro, conceding this decision to his leadership. Shiro was about to tell the team to pack up when Lance’s voice buzzed in his ears. “It’s going to be a while, Shiro. We aren’t exactly racing the clock. There’s plenty of time.”

Shiro took a breath. “We have a responsibility to ensure you and your crew makes it to safety. And given the hostile nature of this planet, you should get off as soon as possible. We will help expedite the process however we can.”

The captain half smiled back. “Thank you, Paladins of Voltron.”

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Lance had been right. Labor wasn’t a quick thing like the movies.

Pidge absolutely hated him for being right.

Five hours in and there was no sign of the baby making an appearance. And it didn’t look like it would any time soon. There was a lot of time between her contractions and they weren’t unbearably painful yet. They still fucking hurt, but she was still on her feet – figuratively speaking.

She paused her typing and clenched her fists as another contraction came. She tried to breathe normally, but couldn’t help the small whine that came from the back of her throat. That one really hurt!

“Thirty minutes.” Almrax marked the time. That hadn’t changed much since her water broke, and she was hardly dilated. It was going to be a very, very long day.

Matt shot her a weak, but encouraging smile as the contraction passed. Everyone’s initial panic had calmed considerably once they realized they weren’t going to have to catch a baby at any given second. Now the team was just trying to keep her comfortable and distracted while she labored. They had moved her out of the infirmary and into the lounge. Pidge was certain they had brought every pillow and blanket in the castle to keep her comfortable. It had been a kind gesture, but it really hadn’t helped in the long run. Pillows weren’t going to make labor or childbirth any easier.

Adding to the stress of it all, her attention span was about as short as her temper at the moment and she had nearly exhausted everyone’s attempts at distractions over the past five hours. Hunk had been most successful by keeping her engaged for a whole forty-five minutes talking about upgrades for their Lions. Allura came in second by discussing more ancient Altean culture. Lance and Keith had tried video games and movies a couple times, but Pidge just couldn’t focus on them for more than fifteen or twenty minutes. Shiro had played a short lived card game with Pidge. It was an alien game they had picked up some time in their first year with Voltron; a slightly confusing mix of euchre, pinochle, and war with very creative rules. She and Shiro were really the only ones who enjoyed the game, but she couldn’t get into it this time. Coran had tried teaching Pidge an ancient form of Altean meditation that supposedly could convince her brain she wasn’t feeling pain at all – Pidge hadn’t lasted long at all at that endeavor. It might have been more helpful if she had started months ago rather than trying to learn in between contractions. Matt hadn’t really tried anything specific. He had just been there, never straying from his sister’s side.

Breakfast time rolled around, and Pidge was strongly encouraged to eat something. She didn’t have an appetite at all, but she also knew that she should try and eat something while she could still stomach it. She managed about half a bowl before another contraction hit. She lost any desire to eat after the pain nearly brought her breakfast up.

Pidge spent the rest of the morning napping on the couch between contractions and half watching whatever movies the other kept putting on. It wasn’t very restful, but Pidge could hardly keep her eyes open. She knew the others were hovering around the lounge, waiting to spring to her aid at the drop of a hat. Sleeping did have the benefit of making time pass faster. On the downside, it felt like she was having contractions every few minutes. One would pass, she’d close her eyes and drift and the next thing she knew another would hit. If it wasn’t for Almrax counting off the minutes from his self-appointed post in a corner she wouldn’t believe that it had really been thirty minutes.

She had hardly realized the morning and half of the afternoon had passed when Hunk tried tempting her with another bowl of food goo. She pushed herself up and blinked blearily at the goo. It quite honestly looked like the least appetizing thing she could imagine at the moment, but it was also probably the least offensive thing she could put in her poor stomach. She got a few bites in before another contraction hit.

“Twenty-five minutes.” Almrax’s calm voice informed the room.

“What time is it?” Pidge groaned as the pain passed.

“Just after two,” Matt said softly.

Pidge felt like she was about to cry. _Twelve hours!_ She had been at this for half a fucking day and she was still only twenty-five minutes apart! Something warm and wet rolled down her cheek and splashed into her food goo.

She sensed, more than saw the changed of expression on her brother’s face. “Katie?”

Pidge furiously wiped away her tears. She became acutely aware of everybody in the room and the shift in their presence when they noticed her falling tears. Over the years they had learned how to control their bonds, and how to stop the flow of feedback when necessary. Pidge had kept herself mostly walled off since the Galra. She didn’t want or need to share that pain with her teammates. Nor did she want to feel their feelings on her situation. She had strengthened those walls when her labor started, not because she didn’t want to broadcast her pain over their bonds, but because she couldn’t stand to feel their fear amplified in her. Still, it was bleeding through, more so with her crying. It was utterly suffocating!

Pidge shoved her bowl into Matt’s hands, stood up, and moved for the door. She barely got two steps before the concerned questions flew.

“Katie!?” “What’s wrong?” “Where are you going?” “Pidge?”

“I’m going to the bathroom!” she snapped at them. “Can’t you just leave me alone for two damn minutes?!” She didn’t wait for a response, or look back to see the pained expressions she knew were on her team’s faces. She stormed out of the lounge – as well as her uneven gait would allow her to – and into the hall. The door slid shut behind her smoothly, and it made her even angrier. Stupid space castle can’t even let her slam a door properly.

She stalked to the nearest bathroom, anger still boiling in her belly. By the time she was washing her hands, she had calmed somewhat. It wasn’t her team’s fault that they were worried about her. It wasn’t their fault that the bonds were leaky. They were never perfect when someone was emotionally or physically distressed. She was both at the moment. Still, she wasn’t about to apologize either. She was the one in labor, not them. They would just have to get over it. Pidge splashed cold water on her face, and wiped away the last of her furious tears.

She knew at least one of the paladins or Matt to be hovering outside the bathroom door. She was quite surprised to find Almrax instead. He was leaning against the wall, casually studying his claws.

“I knew I couldn’t get two minutes to myself,” she grumbled, standing in the doorway. She was half tempted to duck back into the bathroom and give herself ten more minutes of peace.

“You are my patient.” Almrax explained flatly. He seemed unfazed by her outburst, or her foul mood. “If you have excess energy, you can try taking a walk. It can help speed up the process.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Pidge demanded.

“You needed the rest.” Almrax pushed himself off the wall and gestured away from the lounge. “If you want to walk, I won’t intrude.”

"I didn't think I was allowed to walk, per your orders."

"That's why I'm here. To make sure nothing happens."

Pidge sighed softly, and ambled away from the lounge. A walk (mostly) by herself did sound nice. She really hadn't gotten much of a chance to stretch her legs ever since she had been out on bed rest.

It was short lived, and not nearly as nice as it had originally sounded. Pidge had barely made it to the training room and already her legs were beginning to feel weak and tired. She sank wearily onto one of the not-really benches that were part of the walls’ architecture, and was annoyed to find tears burning in her eyes again.

She didn’t want to be here!  Not just here in the hallway, but in the castle, out in the middle of fucking nowhere, billions of miles away from home!

All of a sudden, the only person in the universe Pidge wanted to see was her mom. A sob bubbled up from her chest, and Pidge found herself weeping, clinging to a childish desire to have her mother with her, as if her presence alone would make everything better.

Almrax sat beside her after a moment and placed a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t say anything, and just let her cry, but Pidge knew he was watching her with those gentle green eyes of his. She almost felt like he knew exactly what was going through her head right now. And who knew… given his line of work, this probably wasn’t the first mid-labor breakdown he’d dealt with.

After a few more minutes, Pidge wiped her eyes, mostly drying her tears and quieting her sobs to infrequent hiccups. What a mess she was. A Paladin of Voltron, Defender of the Universe, personally responsible for saving eleven star systems and heavily involved in saving one whole galaxy, and grown damn adult, and she was crying for her mom. Fucking hormones!

Pidge sniffed one last time. “I suppose we should go back.”

“If you aren’t ready, you don’t have to,” Almrax replied evenly.

Well, she certainly wasn’t going to spend the rest of her labor sitting outside the training deck, but she still didn’t want to go back to the lounge and deal with the others quite yet. Then, there was a nudge in the back of her mind, gentle and reassuring. “Actually there’s someone else I’d like to see first.”

She hadn’t seen Green since this started, and her lion deserved to be included in this as much as the rest of her team did. While they hadn’t been flying together over the last several months, they had still been spending plenty of time together. Her lion was surprisingly compliant to Pidge’s near constant tinkering. Usually, testing an upgrade required a little cajoling on Pidge’s end. And if she couldn’t see her mom… well maybe her lion could serve as the next best substitute.

The walk to their hangar was even longer than the walk to the training deck, and Pidge begrudgingly had to accept Almrax’s offered arm as her steps faltered. Still, he left Pidge to her own devices after they entered the hangar. He kept a healthy distance – whether from respect or fear, she didn't know – from the lion. Pidge didn’t mind, she really just wanted to spend time alone with Green, and if she thought she could get away with it she’d send Almrax to wait outside.

Green had her head resting on her paws, clearly waiting for Pidge, and when she touched her lion’s metal she could feel strength and comfort flowing out from her lion. Pidge smiled and leaned against Green. A mutual purr passed between the two as Pidge sat herself onto Green’s paws, and for the first time all day, Pidge felt okay. Not great, but okay. And when a contraction came, it didn’t seem to hurt nearly as much as the others had. She closed her eyes and leaned fully against her lion. She didn’t quite fall asleep, but she wasn’t quite conscious either.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, when she was finally roused by her own Lion. It had been a few hours, she had counted nine contractions, but she was pretty sure they were coming more frequently now. She looked around for Almrax and realized he wasn’t alone anymore.

Allura was standing with the doctor, watching from a respectful distance. Pidge smirked as she stood up, her joints popping and cracking. She wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone had been waiting for her. The princess offered her a small smile and her arm. Apparently, Almrax had told the others that she was taking an extended walk. Hunk had taken advantage of the time to prepare dinner, and – according to Allura – he would be absolutely heartbroken if it got cold before Pidge had some.

Pidge smiled and let Allura support her as they trekked back to the lounge. Her legs were still weak and tired. While this walk had been nice, she had a feeling that she wouldn’t be taking anymore until this ordeal was over.

 

After dinner, Pidge got a progress check. Still hardly any change. She pretended to ignore the worried line that creased Almrax’s brow at her lack of progress.

The Paladins tried to stay optimistic. Most of the humans knew now that childbirth wasn’t a quick process, Lance most of all was trying to keep spirits high with his wellspring of baby knowledge.

Pidge had insisted on taking laps around the lounge, desperate to help speed things up. The twenty-four hour mark was getting closer and closer and she honestly hadn’t expected it to take _this_ long. The others insisted on taking laps with her “to work off their nervous energy.” Pidge had put her foot down and made them take turns when all five humans tried following her.

“Eighteen hours or longer really isn’t all that unusual,” Lance rambled on. Pidge had mostly tuned him out. “My oldest sister was in labor for twenty-eight hours with her first. Her second only took six hours. But my abuela still holds the family record for longest, unmedicated labor at forty eight hours.”

“Why would you tell me that?!” Pidge gasped just as another contraction hit. She might have squeezed Lance’s arm a little harder than necessary, but seriously forty-eight fucking hours! Was Lance trying to jinx her?

 

Eighteen hours passed, and Pidge felt like she was going to fall asleep where she stood. Unusual considering she had slept most of the day, but then again, she couldn’t exactly call it sleeping restfully.

She asked to go back to the infirmary for a little quiet while she slept.

She insisted that the rest of the team go to their own rooms and sleep. They had been awake longer than she had, and it was becoming abundantly obvious that she still wasn’t anywhere close to delivering. They all begrudgingly agreed, except Matt. Shiro wisely dragged her brother away when he saw the look on Pidge’s face when he tried arguing with her.

 

Twenty-four hours passed in the dead of night. It was just Pidge and Almrax alone in the infirmary, catching what rest they could between contractions – still fifteen to twenty minutes apart. Things were getting foggy for Pidge. She was so damn tired and in so much pain. It was easier to just stay drifting and fuzzy.

 

At some point, the others came back. Pidge tried to rouse herself, but honestly that was too much effort for the time being. She remembered eating some goo for breakfast, and near constant prompting to take a drink and stay hydrated. She obeyed mechanically, and drank when someone brought a water pouch to her.

At some point the water changed to juice and tea, and then she was pretty sure it just became pure sugar water. Hands were all over her almost constantly. Holding her hands, letting her squeeze when another contraction passed, smoothing back her hair, placing cool cloths over her forehead and bathing her neck.

There may have been scans. Almrax was a near constant presence at her side now. And she would occasionally hear a mechanical hum breaking up the usual noise of the infirmary.

She was vaguely aware that her teammate’s voices were growing more and more concerned. Their touches gentler, hesitant, scared. She tried to muster the thought power to assure them that she was going to be alright.

It was only childbirth; people had been surviving this since the beginning of time.

She wasn’t sure the words came out right.

It had been thirty-six hours. Pidge had become non-responsive. There was _still_ no progress.

“You need to cut it out of her!” Shiro insisted.

“She needs to go to a hospital!” Almrax shot back; it had been his counter argument for the last three hours. “I am not prepared for a surgical birth. She wouldn’t survive.”

“She’s barely hanging on now!”

“This infirmary is not equipped for this. She needs to be taken to a hospital where they can tend to her properly.”

“You know we can’t do that.”

“I don’t understand,” Matt interjected. “You brought scalpels, you brought surgical thread. Why can’t you do this?”

“I don’t have half the equipment necessary! No anesthetics, no other surgical tools, no saline, and hardly enough thread. Even if I did manage to get it out she would never survive to recovery.”

“That’s not true, we have the pods.” Allura added quickly.

“Med pods are for stabilizing vitals, transporting critical patients, and buying a few more hours for the surgeons to work. They don’t heal.”

“Altean medical pods do.”

“Oh yes, the mythic Altean pods. Where do you suggest we find one?”

“You’re _in_ an Altean castle.”

Almrax blinked. Was this really an Altean ship? He knew the ship was old, but it couldn’t possibly be _that_ old. The Castle of Lions had been destroyed with Altea, or lost to the far reaches of space ten thousand years ago. He had always thought this was a repurposed vessel for the Paladin’s needs, not an actual Altean ship.

“You’re going to trust your friend’s life to ten thousand year old technology?”

“Every Paladin has recovered from a near fatal injury thanks to those pods at least once. They have a spotless record.”

It sounded too good to be true, but…  “Show me.”

Pidge wouldn’t hang on forever.

Coran moved to a panel and brought up a pod. Almrax inspected it quickly. It looked something like the pods the fancy hospitals had; some dated technology, but it looked to be in good working order. It still wasn’t a guarantee, and it wasn’t enough to give Almrax confidence.

“I would still rather take her to a hospital.” He took a steadying breath and turned to Matt. “You are her next of kin. The decision is yours.”

Matt chewed nervously on his knuckle. His eyes darted anxiously between Pidge and the pod and Almrax. His sister’s life was in the balance. She would be identified at a hospital, she would be found by the Galra. Here she’d be safe with her family, safe from the Galra but… she could die. Then again… he knew the power of the Altean pods.

“Cut it out of her,” he decided hoarsely.

“Very well. I’ll need to do some quick prep. And I will need all of your help.”

Almrax turned Pidge over and laid her flat on the table. He dug into his box of supplies and laid out his tools on a tray. Scalpels, needles and surgical thread – not nearly enough – gauze to sponge away the blood, disinfectant – this he immediately swiped all over Pidge’s exposed stomach.

It was a pitiful excuse for a surgical ward, but it would have to do.

Almrax picked up his scalpel and hesitated over Pidge. He looked at her gathered teammates, all pale with worry, unable to take their eyes off Pidge. She was fading fast, hardly even responding when a contraction hit her.

They were all trusting in him and his abilities to get her through this alive. Quite honestly, now he was putting most of his faith in the mythic powers of the Altean healing pods.

“It’s still not fully detached, I can’t ensure her survival,” he repeated.

“Just get it out of her. The pods will do the rest,” Allura assured him.

“Without anesthesia this will hurt her.” He looked to the others. “Three of you will have to hold her down. Keep her as still as possible. I’m going to need a spare set of hands.”

Coran stepped forward to hold down Pidge’s legs. Hunk and Shiro both secured a shoulder. Lance stepped forward to help however necessary. Allura moved to the pod’s control panel, ready to activate it as soon as necessary. Matt and Keith stepped out of the way, but still hovered close.

Almrax looked everyone in the eye, particularly looking at Lance. If he couldn’t handle the gore he would end up doing more harm than good. “I’m going to have to work quickly. There will be blood. Are you ready?”

“I am.” Lance sounded more confident than he felt. The others announced that they were ready as well.

Almrax had delivered countless babies before. He had even done a few surgical births in his little clinic. But he had never done anything like this. In his clinic he had supplies and medicine. Here he had a handful of basic tools, a first aid kit’s worth of supplies, and ten thousand year old medical pods.

It would be a miracle if Pidge survived this.

He took a bracing breath and made the first cut. Pidge reacted immediately. Her fiends kept her pinned, but even they couldn’t stop her screaming. Almrax worked quicker than he ever had before and it wasn’t long before he had opened up the womb. He saw small purple limbs and set his scalpel aside.

“Be ready with that towel.” He ordered, taking hold of the child.

Lance stepped forward, clean towel unfolded in his hands, ready to catch.

Almrax maneuvered the child; bring its legs out first, gently but quickly, then the arms and shoulders, and finally the head. Lance was quick to receive it, he held it still while he clamped and cut the cord. As soon as it was detached, he stepped away, carrying the baby to the next table.

Almrax felt inside for the placenta, part of it came lose, but it held firm in the center. “The placenta is still attached. I’ll need to cut it out,” he explained to everyone. “As soon as it’s out, I’ll close her up as best I can. Then you need to get her into a pod.”

Nobody said anything, but he knew they understood. There was a very good chance that this would kill Pidge if the pods didn’t work the way they were meant to.

He worked quickly, but it took longer than he anticipated. The placenta came apart in chunks – not a good sign—and he had to cut out the attached pieces. As he worked, he noted that the baby was unusually quiet.

Had it died in utero? The placenta was degraded, not nourishing it the way it should have. Did that trigger the early labor?

After he got the last piece he glanced over to Lance while he reached for the sutures. He was rubbing at the baby with a towel, cleaning it off, and it squirmed beneath his hands. He should have been able to hear it breathing if not crying. It should be taking in great gulps of air as its lungs acclimated to the new environment. The quietness was concerning, but his current priority was keeping Pidge alive.

“Swipe a finger around its mouth,” he called to Lance. “There may be mucus blocking its airway.”

A second later he heard a small sputtering cough, then a stronger one, then full out wails. The croaking cry of newborn lungs.

He realized, as he put a few quick sutures into Pidge’s uterus that he hadn’t even checked to see if the baby was male or female. He scowled as blood leaked from his incisions, faster than he was comfortable with, but Pidge was still moving from the pain. He couldn’t blame her for that. But he was uncomfortable with the limited amount of silk he had to use. Not enough to do anything but bring the cut edges roughly together. If the pod didn’t work, Pidge would bleed to death. He moved to closing up her skin, again placing far too few stitches for his liking.

When he ran out of silk he threw the needle down on the tray and stepped back. “Into the pod, now!”

Coran and Shiro hoisted Pidge up and ran her limp body to the closest pod. It stood open, waiting for her. They set her inside, Allura quickly pressed several buttons. The pod hissed and sealed itself. Coran immediately ran to the control console to watch Pidge’s vitals. That was all that could be done for Pidge at the moment.

Almrax turned his attention to the baby. It had stopped crying now; Lance had wrapped it up in the towel and held it gently, but looked like he wanted nothing more than check on Pidge.

“Set it down, let me see,” Almrax spoke quietly, shedding his bloody gloves.

Lance set it on the clear table and stepped over to look at Pidge. He looked pale and tears gathered in his eyes, but he said nothing. Almrax heard one of the Paladins retching on the other end of the infirmary, but a little bit of vomit wasn't his main concern right now.

Almrax examined the baby, taking note that it was in fact a male. He had light, lavender skin, yellow Galra eyes, and broad, bluntly pointed ears. He drew a gentle claw across the baby’s cheek; the baby turned his head to the touch. Good reflexes. He finished cleaning the baby and giving it an exam. Despite his early entrance and the degraded placenta, he seemed in perfect health. Truthfully, he hardly expected anything else, given the degree to which he had been attached to Pidge. The worse he seemed to be was a little cold in the open air of med bay.

Satisfied, he wrapped the baby up in a clean towel and held him close for a little extra body warmth. “How are her vitals?” he called over to Coran.

“They’re stabilizing. Still bad, but getting better.”

Almrax breathed a sigh of relief. Pidge might just survive this after all. “I understand if you don’t want to see him.” He said, turning to face the others. “I can take care of him for the time being. You won’t have to see him if you don’t want to.”

They nodded, none making a move closer. Almrax didn’t expect them too.

“What did you decide to do with him?” he asked.

“The Blade of Marmora is going to take him,” Shiro explained. “Keep him out of Zarkon’s hands.”

Almrax nodded. He didn’t know the Blade, but anyone who stood against Zarkon was good in his book. “How long?”

“It’ll take a couple days to make contact and set up a meet.”

“Okay, good. It’ll give me time to watch Pidge’s recovery, and make sure he is healthy.” Almrax felt the heavy gaze of the others fall on the baby.

Almrax knew what it had to look like to the others. Pidge was covered in blood. She looked near death even in the pod, if not dead already. Her teammates and family were gathered around her. And there he stood, separated, across the way cradling the thing that nearly killed her.

“Is she going to be alright?” Hunk asked hoarsely, laying a hand on the pod.

Almrax didn’t see any point in trying to soften the blow. “She might; if the pod does its job. I’ll observe her for a few days, make sure she’s healing.”

Almrax looked down at the baby, he had fallen asleep. “I know you’re worried about Pidge. You can stay, but I need to clean up.”  He walked over to the box of supplies he had brought, dumped the contents onto the bench and laid the baby inside. Someplace secure the baby wouldn’t accidentally roll off the table.

While he cleaned, he noticed a shift in the paladins. At first they gravitated closer to each other, but after several minutes of silence and tense muttering between the group two broke away. Almrax watched them inch closer to the baby, Lance and Keith.

Keith reached out a tentative hand and pulled the towel away from the baby’s face to get a better view. Almrax saw a curious flurry of emotions play across his face. Lance peered at the baby for a moment.

“You know, he’s kind of cute.”

“Really, Lance?” Keith snapped under his breath.

“What? Babies are cute, even if they are half Galra. It’s not like it’s his fault he was born.” Lance half smiled at the sleeping baby. He looked at Almrax questioningly. “Can I?”

Almrax nodded. “Mind his head,” he cautioned.

Lance gently lifted the baby out of the box, one hand supporting the head. Almrax noted he held the baby with practiced ease. He was quiet for several moments, just looking at the baby. The other paladins were watching, but none crossed the room. Only Keith hovered awkwardly behind Lance, looking over his shoulder.

“I always forget how small they are,” Lance whispered. He turned towards Keith. “Do you want to hold him?”

“No!” The red paladin stepped back a half step.

“Alright, you don’t have to.” Lance gently placed the baby back into the box. Then he added quieter, probably hoping that Almrax wouldn’t hear. “Just thought you might want to see what could be the only other human-galra hybrid in the universe.”

“It’s not like there’s going to be any kind of kinship between us. Once the Blade takes him we’ll probably never see him again.”

“You’re probably right. That kid's going to have an interesting life.”

After another moment looking at the baby, they both gravitated back to Pidge’s pod.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this being so late, other than I got really distracted by other projects and this sat 90% finished in my hard drive for months. Sorry for the delay.
> 
> We have reached the end! And I just want to give a huge, heartfelt thank you to all of you for reading!  
> When I first posted this I was quite honestly a little scared. I'd never written anything like this before and I wasn't sure how the fandom would take it. (I was not looking forward to getting hate for this fic, hence the anonymous) But you readers, and everyone who left kudos, and especially everyone who commented proved my silly fears wrong and I can't tell you how grateful I am for this! It honestly makes me wish I hadn't posted anonymously so I could talk to you all, because you are the nicest commenters!
> 
> Anywho, I hope you all like this little epilogue! I like to think of it as the nice warm-fuzzy cherry on top of all the shit I put Pidge through. (Sorry, Pidge, I do love you dearly)

**Epilogue**

 

Much to everyone’s relief, Pidge did show signs of improvement after her first hour in the pod. Her vitals went from bad but stable, to slowly improving. They could all breathe easy again.

Allura showed Almrax to a room he could call his own, and keep the baby in for the next couple days. He sank gratefully into the bed and slept almost as soon as he hit the pillow. He didn’t sleep for long, the baby needed attention a couple hours later, but it was more sleep than he had in two days.

They all fell into something of an uncomfortable rhythm. The Paladins orbited anxiously around Pidge’s pod, many of them camping out in the infirmary. Almrax bounced in between med bay watching Pidge, and his room to let the baby sleep.

By the morning of Pidge’s second day in the pod, he was confident that she would make a full recovery and content to leave Pidge in her teammate’s hands. The Blade of Marmora came for the baby just before midday. Almrax was waiting in the infirmary, keeping one eye on Pidge, and preparing for the baby’s imminent departure. Half of the Paladins were sitting around Pidge’s pod; her brother was currently leaned up against it sleeping. He had hardly left her side for more than twenty minutes over the last couple days.

Lance was holding the baby while he slept, keeping a respectful distance from the pod. Of the Paladins he was the only one to show any interest in the child, or tolerate holding him. He had explained to Almrax that he had young nieces and nephews – it didn’t take a genius to realize that Lance missed his family and was projecting somewhat on the baby.

The infirmary doors slid open and Shiro and Allura led two masked visitors in. Almrax had to assume that these were agents of the Blade of Marmora. The conscious Paladins straightened, a couple got to their feet, but they were paid little mind.

The apparent leader of the Blade agents, the taller and bulkier of the two deactivated his mask and Almrax was quite surprised to find that he recognized that face. It had been aged by several decades, but it was still Kolivan.

“Well, well, I hardly expected to see you out here, Almrax,” Kolivan said, crossing his arms.

“I should have known you’d be neck-deep in this Blade of Marmora nonsense, Kolivan.”

“Wait, you know each other?” Shiro asked, quite taken aback.

“From our days at the academy,” Kolivan explained before turning back to Almrax. “Still cowering in the safety of the core worlds?”

“At least I’m actually helping people,” Almrax shot right back. “Rather than getting them killed for your impossible cause!”

“Gentlemen, please!” Allura snapped, abruptly ending their bickering. “Set aside your differences. This is not what you’re here for.”

Almrax sighed and looked back to repacking his supplies. Kolivan stepped over to the pod to give Pidge a passing inspection. “How is she?”

“She’ll recover. She just needs another day or two in the pod.” Allura explained.

“And the child?”

“Here,” Lance said softly, stepping forward.

Almrax wasn’t sure if it was conscious or not but the remaining paladins gave him a wide berth.  Kolivan lifted the baby from Lance’s arms with remarkably gentle hands and looked him over for a moment.

“He is small,” he said after a long moment.

“Yeah, well, preemies are small,” Lance muttered back semi-defensively.

Kolivan turned his gaze back to Almrax. “How early?”

Almrax half shrugged. “It’s difficult to tell with hybrids, but by my best guess probably six weeks.”

“And they both survived?” Kolivan’s gaze turned to appraisal, and Almrax could see he was impressed. “We could use skills like yours with the Blade, Almrax.”

Almrax couldn’t help the involuntary scowl that crossed his face as his ears twitched downwards. “I don’t think so.”

Judging by Kolivan’s easy shrug, he had expected that answer. He turned and handed the baby over to his companion; a Galra hybrid of lithe frame and bone structure that suggested Unilu heritage. “Did you name him?” Kolivan asked the Paladins.

“No.” Shiro answered bluntly.

“I see. Then we will take him off your hands, Paladins.” Kolivan and his companion turned back to the infirmary doors.

“We will escort you back to your ship,” Allura said, as she and Shiro turned to follow.

“Wait, there are supplies,” Lance called out. He snatched up a box of supplies Almrax had set aside for the baby and followed the others out the door.

After several minutes, Allura, Shiro and Lance returned. The princess gave her green paladin one last look before turning to Almrax. “If you’re ready, Almrax, we can take you home as well.”

“I’ll be ready soon, Princess. Pidge should make a full recovery, but if anything happens you know where to find me.”

 

**XXXXXXXXXX**

 

Pidge was really enjoying this blissful, floating sensation that currently enveloped her entire body. It wasn’t quite as light as zero-g, but it left her feeling tingly all over. She drew a deeper breath, quite content to just sink into this bliss for a few minutes longer. It must be a dream of some sort, because she didn’t feel any kind of discomfort, and after the last seven months of her life, that way saying something.

She thought she heard voices, muffled and distant – Matt coming to check in on her, she surmised. Pidge suppressed a small groan, she must have overslept. Well, if it’s time to wake up…

Pidge forced her eyes open, wincing internally at the stubborn crud that pulled at her eyelashes. Once she got her eyes open the spell was broken. The floating, tingling sensation was gone. She was cold, and could see her breath fogging before her eyes. Then her eyes focused beyond her nose and out of the foggy window of the med pod.

Matt’s face was the first she saw; pale and unshaven, dark and heavy bags under his eyes. He brightened considerably once he saw Pidge had regained consciousness. Hunk was beside him, looking equally as enthusiastic, and little teary-eyed.

“She’s awake!” Hunk called out to the room.

Pidge heard several exclamations as her pod hissed open. Warmth rushed over her as the rest of her team gathered around the pod – and she was pretty sure it wasn’t just the warm air. It took forever for the pod to open fully, and when it finally did she eagerly stepped – fell – into the infirmary. Luckily, her teammates were there to catch her and she fell into a pile of warm hugs.

Pidge couldn’t keep track of who was talking or who the arms currently squeezing the breath from her lungs belonged too, but she didn’t care. Her memories slowly returned while her teammates fawned over her. She remembered going into labor, and she remembered everything getting fuzzy. Something must have gone wrong.

She managed to lay her hand over her stomach and noticed that it was significantly smaller than it had been for months. Tears pricked in Pidge’s eyes as her heart seemed to swell in joy. A grin crossed her face and she finally coordinated herself enough to reciprocate some of the hugs she was receiving.

What had happened to her had been an absolute nightmare, but it was over now.

She could finally move on.


End file.
